How to Cancel a Date Without Being a Jerk

Gabrielle Applebury
Woman cancelling date

There are several options to cancel a date in a kind, respectful way. Depending on whether you'd like to see this person again, you can alter your message to make your intentions clear.

Reasons for Cancelling a Date

You may want to cancel a date because you don't feel well, don't want to see this person again, or have conflicting plans.

Cancelling Without Rescheduling

If you've had a change of heart and no longer want to see someone you have a date scheduled with, that's completely okay. You can consider telling them:

  • After thinking about it, I don't think we're a great match so I'd like to cancel our date. I enjoyed meeting you.
  • Although I enjoyed briefly chatting with you, I am not interested in pursuing this relationship romantically and think we should cancel our date. Wishing you the best!
  • I don't think we're going to work out so I think we should go ahead and cancel our date. It was nice meeting you.
  • I'm not comfortable moving forward with this relationship so I'm going to cancel our upcoming date. Take care!
  • I think you're a great person, but not the right fit for me. Wishing you well!

Cancelling and Rescheduling

If you're into this person and want to see them again, it's important to chat with them about why you are cancelling, while making it clear that you want to spend more time with them. You can say:

  • I am so sorry but I need to cancel our date. I would love to reschedule. When are you free to meet again?
  • I had a last minute emergency come up and I'll need to reschedule our date. I'm so sorry to do this. Let me know when you'd like to meet again!
  • I had a work issue come up last minute so I need to reschedule our date. Are you free to meet any other time this week?
  • Hey! I have a little hiccup in my schedule and will need to cancel our date. I am beyond sorry but would love to see you again. Let me know when you are free.
  • So sorry to do this last minute, but I have to deal with something. Any chance we could reschedule for tomorrow?

Messages for Different Methods of Cancelling

What you say when you cancel also depends on your method for delivering the message.

Cancelling Via Text Message

Sending a text is a quick way to get your point across whether you'd like to reschedule a date or are letting someone know that you aren't interested in seeing them again. You can send:

  • Hey! Sorry to do this, but I need to reschedule. I've been under the weather. Have another day in mind for our date?
  • I had a great time with you, but don't see us working out. I'd love to stay friends if you're up for that.
  • It was great meeting with you, but I don't think we're going to work out. Take care!
  • So sorry but I have to switch our date to a different day. Anything else work for you? I'd love to see you again this week!

Cancelling Through a Phone Call

Calling to cancel your date allows more for a conversation. If you're calling to cancel and not reschedule, it's best to keep what you say short and concise. You can consider saying:

  • I just wanted to call and let you know that I'm going to need to reschedule our date. I'm so sorry about doing so last minute, but I'd love to see you another time this week.
  • I wanted to speak with you about finding another time to see each other. I am unfortunately unable to make our date. I have a family matter that I'm dealing with. Any other days work for you?
  • Hey, I wanted to let you know that I enjoyed getting to know you, but I don't see us making it as a couple. I think it's best if we cancel our upcoming date.
  • Hi! I hope you're doing well. I wanted to let you know that I don't think we're the best fit for each other and I'd like to cancel our date. I think you're an awesome person, I just didn't feel any romantic chemistry.
Man calling to cancel his date

Cancelling a Date in Person

You may want to cancel a date in person if you have been out with this person a few times, but want to end the relationship, or if you run into them and want to reschedule. You can say:

  • I have enjoyed the few dates that we've had, but I really don't see us as a couple. I'd like to stay friends if you're on board. What do you think?
  • I've liked getting to know you the past few months, but I think it's best if we don't see each other any more. I don't think we're a good match as a couple. I wish you all the best with dating going forward.
  • Hey! I was going to call you. I'm so sorry, but I have to cancel our plans. I haven't been feeling well. Can we reschedule for another day this week?
  • Hi, it's so funny running into you here. I was going to shoot you a text later today. Any chance we can reschedule our date? I've got some work stuff I have to deal with.

Being Kind in Your Delivery

Whether you decide to see this person again, it's important to keep your cancelling message respectful and concise. Be honest with yourself and your date about why you are cancelling and continue to prioritize the decision that you feel the most comfortable with.

How to Cancel a Date Without Being a Jerk