Some would say that extroverts and introverts go together like oil and water, but with a little bit of understanding, dating an introvert doesn't have to feel difficult at all. Naturally, introverts need space away from others in order to recharge their batteries, and considering a relationship is inherently a partnership, this may not seem like an ideal characteristic. However, by approaching your dynamic using a few guidelines, you can ensure both you and your introvert partner are happy.
Dating an Introvert
Introverts are best described as people who regain social energy by being alone and often they have smaller bandwidths for social situations. Thus, being hyper-connected and constantly around an introverted partner can be more exhausting for them than doing so with an extroverted one. This means you have to take care to adapt your responses and expectations to their specific needs.
1. It Takes Time
Introverts largely take more time to open up about themselves and their lives. If they're being hesitant to reveal things, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're doing something wrong; rather, they might just need more time to adjust to your presence. Once they start engaging in sensitive conversations with you, you'll find that they never really stop.
2. Make the First Move
If you've ever felt frustrated that an introverted person hasn't made a move, chances are you're going to frustrated for a long time. Taking charge of a romantic situation isn't always in their inclination, and so that introvert you're into might be desperately wanting to make a move but doesn't feel comfortable enough to do so. So, you'll probably be surprised if you take a leap of faith to either start a conversation with them or ask them out on a date and they enthusiastically respond.
3. Don't Expect a Constant +1
Introverts don't inherently enjoy lots of socialization, especially in really large doses. Of course, everyone's social barometer is different, but a majority of introverts aren't going to want to go to every dinner party, friendly brunch, and movie night that you and your friends have planned this week. If you're feeling frustrated in the lack of your partner's participation, you need to remind yourself that they're probably also annoyed by how much you want to get out and socialize, meaning a compromise is assuredly in order.
4. It's the Small Moments
A lot of introverts prefer small, meaningful moments to constant communication. Therefore, you want to keep in mind that an introvert doesn't need constant conversation, but rather that a poignant thought or something as small as brining them their favorite flowers can brighten their whole day and show them that you care.
5. They May Retreat
Given that introverts really enjoy their personal space, they may feel like they need to retreat when they're overwhelmed or uncomfortable. This can translate into looking like they're running away from their problems, when really they're regrouping to be able to tackle them head-on. Therefore, it's a great idea to give your partner the space that they may or may not be intentionally asking for.
6. Accept Them For Who They Are
It can be hard to be an introvert in the current social landscape when those personalities are constantly being made fun of on social media platforms like TikTok. So, you want to provide your introvert partner with a safe space to be authentically themselves. Not only should you comfort them when they're feeling overwhelmed by the world, but also encourage them if they're ever feeling insecure about how difficult socializing can be for them.
7. Choose Date Ideas Tailored for Them
Going to an amusement park or seeing a concert are not good date ideas for introverts because of the large crowds and exhausting number of hours you have to around other people. So, when you're scrolling through the internet for date ideas, hone in on ones that an introvert might enjoy. Something like a themed, at-home movie night or a mid-day walk around an art gallery could be better suited for an introverted partner.
8. Their Home Is Their Safe Place
Because introverts need time alone to recharge, their homes are incredibly important spaces to them, right down to the decorations on the walls and the candles that they have burning. So, if you find them asking you to spend a lot of time at home with them, take it as a compliment. They're comfortable enough with you that they consider you a part of this special place, and that is not something to take lightly.
9. They Cut to the Chase
Not all introverts are direct conversationalists, but a good number of them are. This means that they probably won't beat around the bush if they're trying to get to the bottom of something. Don't get discouraged by this seemingly 'mean' behavior; they're not trying to be impolite or hurt your feelings, that's just how they know how to communicate.
10. Don't Try to Change Them
Most importantly, remember that with all the challenges that might come with dating an introvert, if you tried to change their personality, they wouldn't be the same person that caught your eye in the first place. So, make sure that you don't find yourself trying to push them to be anything other than they what they are.
Introvert or Extrovert, Dating Is Difficult
Ultimately, dating can be an incredibly difficult thing, and adjusting to someone's personality will take time. As long as you're having open communication with your partner and are respecting the things that make them, them, you both should be able to work through any hurdles that might come up.