Explaining to someone why you love them can be difficult; especially since love is such a nuanced and abstract concept that is nearly impossible to fully understand, let alone put into words. Scientists, poets, philosophers, songwriters, and novelists have all tried to capture the right words to describe love, yet the meaning is always evolving and love means something different to everyone. Love is an emotion that is uniquely human, and whether you're telling someone you love them for the first time or for what feels like the millionth time, you may want to explain to them exactly why you do.
How to Explain Why You Love Someone
At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong way to explain why you love someone, but there are some concepts to think about that may help you come up with your reasons.
They Know How to Love You
People give and receive love differently. One reason why you may love your partner is that they know how to love you in a way that makes you feel truly understood and validated. Some ways to express this are:
- You're constantly validating my feelings, which makes me feel loved.
- You always make space in your week to do something special for just the two of us.
- Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed with work, you always offer to help with the dishes, which shows me you care.
They Understand Your Needs
When someone understands your needs, you feel validated. For years, research from the National Library of Medicine has found that feeling understood helps improve social connections. The person you love may understand what you need emotionally, whether that be a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to joke around with. Some ways of saying this are:
- You understand that alone time is important to me, and you allow me to have space for myself when I need it.
- I'm a sensitive person, and you take the time to comfort me and don't judge me for my feelings.
- I like to spend time with my friends during the week, too, and you never get upset about me making plans with them.
They Help You Express Vulnerability
Many people describe their closest friends and partners as someone they can be authentically themselves around, and, according to Dr. Brene Brown, being vulnerable helps create meaningful connections. Exposing your true self to another person, and having them embrace who you are can feel amazing, especially since not many people may get to see that side of you. Ways to share these thoughts on love are:
- I feel like I can always be myself around you, which isn't something I experience easily, or with most people.
- You make me feel like I can talk to you about anything, and it won't make things weird and you won't judge me for it.
- You're the first person I've shared all of my secrets with because I didn't feel afraid to tell you them.
They Make You Feel Safe
Your loved one may bring a sense of safety into your life, whether that be physically, emotionally, or both. Feeling a sense of security helps with building trust and intimacy in a relationship, according to the National Library of Medicine. Some phrases you may resonate with:
- Whenever I'm with you, I know that I am in a safe space.
- I feel like all of my anxiety and worries turn off when we are together.
- It feels like nothing bad can happen when we are together because we have each other.
They Share Your Values
Having shared values with a loved one not only shows that your minds and hearts are on the same wavelength, but it can create another layer of security. Your shared values may also show that you have the same goals for the future. It can be wonderful to meet someone who has the same interests as you do, especially if you never thought you would find a person to share certain aspects of your life with. This can be expressed as:
- It feels amazing to know someone that has the same interests as I do, and that we both find value in doing the same kinds of things.
- I never thought I would find someone that cares about the exact same things as I do.
- Knowing that we care about the same things makes me feel validated and comforted.
They Help You See Yourself
Receiving love and validation from the person you care about can help you understand that you are deserving of those things. Having a supportive partner can have a positive effect on your well-being. Your loved one may be able to reflect your qualities back towards you, and help you see yourself through their eyes. Some ways to express this are:
- You make me feel like I am worthy of love and support.
- You've helped me realize my strengths and good qualities, which I struggled to see/appreciate before.
- I feel validated when you help me recognize the good in myself.
They Make You Feel Good
Your loved one may make you feel accepted, powerful, capable, and happy. They may push you to lengths beyond your comfort zone, challenge you in more ways than one, or make you want to be the best person you can be. When someone makes you feel good, it's natural to appreciate them and want to be around them often. Some words to use are:
- You make me feel like I can be the person I've always wanted to be.
- You inspire me to get out of my own way and push myself into exploring things I only dreamed about.
- You make me feel like I am taking steps every day towards being a better person.
They Help You Feel Connected
Feeling connected to each other is important in any relationship, and the person you love may be your best friend or feel like someone you have known for your entire life. Feeling socially supported is linked to having increased mental and physical health, which means that feeling connected to your partner is beneficial in numerous ways. Sometimes, people just click and seem to fit together in a way that is nearly perfect. Ways to describe this are:
- You make me feel like I have found somebody that I want to stay connected to forever.
- I feel like you really know me, and that I really know you, in ways that I haven't experienced before.
- I feel like I have known you forever, and that we really get each other.
They Have Amazing Qualities
There is most likely a mountain of things that you like about your partner. Of course, you think they're attractive in all the right ways, and you may love the way a dimple pops up when they laugh, or that they prefer to make homemade lemonade. You may even love their morning breath, simply because it's theirs. People are a sum of many different parts, and some ways to explain this are:
- You're the greatest person I've ever met for every reason, in every way.
- You are a kind, smart, and loving person, and it feels amazing to be around you.
- There are so many things about you that are unique, and I want to keep learning more.
Finding the Right Words May Take Time
Know that it's okay if you don't have the words to explain why you love someone. Talk to the person you love about it and explain that it's difficult for you to put the concept and your internal feelings into words. If it's important to them that they know your explanation, tell them that you need more time, and ensure them that you will return to the conversation again in the future.
Professing Your Love
You may know that you are in love with someone, but it can be a daunting task to explain why you love them. Love is intangible and varies widely from person to person and relationship to relationship, which can make it a hard thing to pin down into a simple explanation. Thinking about what love means to you, and how the person you love relates to that concept, may help you better understand the love in your relationship, and may even help you find the words to explain it. For a look at the other side, get tips on what to say when someone says I love you.