Every relationship goes through stages, but the individuals who make up the couple do not go through the stages at the same pace. Recognizing that you and your partner aren't matching up is crucial to help both of you synch your relationship back up. Whether your relationship has fallen into a rut of daily existence or is on the verge of splitting up entirely over seemingly insurmountable problems, you may want to press the rewind button to capture the initial thrill. Rewinding your relationship means remembering how you never wanted to be away from your partner, how seeing them gave your heart a jump, and how your partner always brought a smile to your face.
Convince Your Partner They Can't Live Without You
You can't wait around for your partner to "realize" they need you. You have to be the type of person he wants. In many ways, it's about falling in love with each other all over again. Turn-ons include ambition, passion and self-confidence. Turn-offs include acting hopeless, depressed, and needy.
When you're clingy and demand attention, it puts enormous pressure on your partner. You are far better off being the person they want to be with rather than demanding they want to be with you. Remember what brought you together in the first place.
Prioritize Why You Want Your Partner
Sometimes, it's helpful to make a list to remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place.
- What attracted you in the beginning?
- What's your favorite memory?
- What have you always wanted to do together but haven't?
- What do you feel when you see him or her?
- My life is better with him or her in it because…
Answering these questions is just a starting point. Remember those initial feelings, and then show affection and interest through attentiveness.
Spending time together is a tried and true piece of advice, but if you are seeking to rewind your relationship, it's critical to success. Often when a relationship is in crisis, the couple thinks that "time apart" can help them "figure out" where they want to be. This is actually the worst time to separate.
When a couple feels disconnected, separating actually enhances that disconnect. To be together, a couple must be physically together-sharing space, sharing time, sharing ideas, and sharing lives.
Get Out of the Rut
Breaking out of a relationship rut may require a simple physical rewind in the choices you and your partner make.
- Plan a regular date night where mundane issues like the kid's test scores and the bills you have to pay are not topics of conversation.
- If you can, get away for the weekend.
- Spend time simply cuddling every night at a certain time.
When a relationship has problems, it's usually because the couple is being pulled apart by too many commitments. Time spent apart discourages making time for each other. Make time together a priority, not something 'that can wait' because of numerous other obligations.
Value Your Partner
Sometimes when a relationship is stuck and in need of rewinding, it's because one or both partners have begun taking the relationship and bond for granted. Feeling taken for granted can also lead to that feeling of being disconnected. Instead, actively look for opportunities to let your partner know how much you appreciate him.
- Strive to actively appreciate what your partner does for you by saying thank you.
- Make notes of your partner's successes and compliment your partner frequently.
- Do not assume that your partner knows you love and appreciate them. Make a point to tell them every day.
A little appreciation can go a long way to defusing arguments and alleviating resentments.
Focus on Your Dos, Not Your Don'ts
An an article in Psychology Today encourages couples to focus on all the dos in their relationship, not the don'ts. These items help heal rifts, overcome communication issues, and serve as a constant reminder of why you are together.
- Tease each other and have fun together.
- Be grateful for your partner and the things he does.
- Celebrate good news with your partner.
- Make a point to notice what is new with your partner.
- Show support through random acts of kindness towards your partner.
- Look after yourself.
Focus on what your partner brings to the relationship, and what you do for each other.
Relationships Can Be Rewound
Even if your relationship is on the rocks, you can rewind it to a point where you both were happier. The key is that you both have to be willing to put in the work and effort required to be appreciative and loving towards your partner again. Remember to focus on yourself - what can you do to bring the relationship back to where it was. You cannot change or control your partner, so if he isn't willing to put in equal effort, you may need to reevaluate the relationship in general. However, with consistent effort, it is possible to move forward.