How to Fall Out of Love and Heal Faster

Gabrielle Applebury
Contributor: Lindsay Woolman
Woman packing ex's belongings in box

If you want to know how to fall out of love, know that it usually it takes time to get over someone you love. Spending some time processing your emotions can help you move through the breakup more quickly and in a healthy way.

Steps to Take When It's Over

While it can be hard to end a relationship or fall out of love, sometimes it is necessary. You may even simply have fallen in love with someone who doesn't love you back and it's not worth giving away your time and devotion. It is also possible that you fell in love and then down the road realized the personality traits or characteristics in your partner aren't complementary to yours.

It takes courage to decide there is something better out there for you, but this is often necessary. Even though endings are hard, you can take comfort in knowing you have a great capacity to love. In the meantime, here are some suggestions to get over the pain faster and heal. Start off by:

  • Blocking them from contacting you
  • Removing their belongings from your house
  • Processing your emotions instead of avoiding them
  • Practicing self-care
  • Seeking counseling if you need some added assistance moving on

Lean on Your Friends

Woman comforting her sad friend

When one person walks out of your life, someone new will come in. Put some effort into reviving old friendships and lean on your friends for support during this time. If you need to make new friends, get active in your community. Attend church, join sports teams, plan a trip, find a Meetup group, or start a new hobby. Anything you can do to distract yourself and move on is important. Talking with and spending time with your friends can help you:

  • Process the relationship
  • Provide a fresh and more objective perspective
  • Better understand the issues within the relationship
  • Provide support and unconditional love during this difficult time
  • Remember what healthy relationships look like

Stay in the Present Moment

Woman meditating on sofa

It's easy to get wrapped up in thinking about the past, daydreaming about the future, or wondering why a relationship didn't work out. Instead of stirring up these emotions, focus on what is in front of you right now. Some people find that getting more involved in work or projects around the house can help. You can do something symbolic, like a paint a room in a new color or have a short ceremony with some candles to say goodbye and release what didn't work out. You can also:

  • Write a letter to your ex and burn it or tear it up
  • Journal about your feelings to help release them
  • Practice meditation or try a yoga class- both great for tapping into your emotional self and also good for grounding
  • Try cooking a new recipe that you've been wanting to try
  • Conquer some small goal that you previously set for yourself
  • Take a nice walk
  • Channel your emotions in a workout class
  • Listen to your favorite songs or calming music
  • Come up with a mantra to remind yourself that the pain you are experiencing is temporary and will pass
  • Prioritize healthy self-care

Why Learning How to Fall Out of Love Is Helpful

Falling out of love can be a painful process, but if you need to move on, it helps to know how to fall out of love. Most people experience heartbreak at some point in their lives and have to deal with the emotional aftermath. When you are heartbroken, it can cause your chest to hurt, zap your motivation, make you feel numb or in disbelief, and even make you feel sick. The good news is that these things are temporary and will pass with time.

Here are some reasons why you might want to move on:

  • You've been cheated on
  • You are being abused or treated poorly
  • You've been dumped
  • You want different things
  • You are in love with someone who doesn't love you
  • You are in love with someone who is married or unavailable

Love Yourself

A great way to know how to fall out of love is to ask yourself how you wish things would have turned out--and then start giving yourself the love you need. Maybe you wish that person was more supportive, kind, or loyal. Identify what was missing and start filling the void with experiences and people who bring these emotions to you. Your next relationship will reflect the changes you've made.

How to Fall Out of Love and Heal Faster