Conversation Starters for Texting

Tamsen Butler
Teenage girl with sunglasses using smart phone

Text conversations can be fun - and sometimes they can get even deeper than face-to-face conversations. Set the tone for the conversation by starting your conversation in a way that compels it forward.

An Interesting Conversation

Consider previous conversations with the person you're texting to figure out the way to best start a text conversation. If they've clammed up in the past when you started the conversation with a complaint about your day, then learn from your mistake and start the conversation in another way. Don't put the burden of carrying the conversation on the other person; if you initiate the conversation, that burden falls on you.

Flirty Texts

If your texts are an effort to flirt with the other person or to feel out the possibility of a relationship, make your texts flirty but not overtly suggestive. It's important to remember texts lack the benefit of non-verbal communication so the burden of interpreting the texts falls upon the recipient. Your attempt at being coy may come off as aloof or your attempt at being sassy might come off as conceited. Try some of these texts as a good way to start up your text conversation:

  • Text 1: Guess what I just saw! Text 2: I just saw a gorgeous sunset that made me think of your beauty.
  • Don't you think we'd be having a better night if we were hanging out?
  • Text 1: I need to tell you something. Text 2: Today I caught a glimpse of you in the walkway and it took my breath away.
  • My couch is comfortable, but it would be better if you were sitting here next to me.
  • In an alternate timeline, I'm kissing your neck right now.
  • I miss you more than I miss the coffee we used to get before biology class...and you know I loved that coffee!
  • When is the next time we can spend some time alone together?
  • Let's have a text date right now! Should we start with eating our dinners?
Young woman sending flirty texts

Funny Texts

Texting isn't only about flirting - sometimes you just want to make the other person smile or chuckle. The same thing applies with flirty texts applies to funny (and any other texts). Your text can be misinterpreted easily without the benefit of non-verbal cues, so try to stay away from obscure or confusing verbiage. Here are some ideas:

  • Text 1: Knock knock! Text 2: It's me, bored and wanting to text!
  • No matter where you are or who is around you, I dare you to take a photo with this face right now (attach photo of you making a goofy face).
  • I had to get rid of my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was collecting dust.
  • I swear my life's a sitcom right now and I'm playing the goofball neighbor who is clueless.
  • Text 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Text 2: To find a charger for her phone!
  • I'm psychic. I predict you're looking at your phone right now.
  • A cell phone walks into a bar. The bartender screams, "Hey! That cell phone has legs!"
  • You know, the rotation of the earth really makes my day.

Deep Texts

If you're feeling reflective and want to have a deep text conversation, send a text that prompts thoughtful responses and follow up with clarifying questions to roll the conversation along. Here are some texts to create deep conversation:

  • What do you think is the meaning of life?
  • What one word sums up your life right now?
  • If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
  • Do you believe in karma?
  • Do you think any of us can ever be truly happy?
  • What can we do to make the world a better place?
  • What do you think happens to us when we die?
  • Do you think people are the way they are because of genetics or environment?

Friendship Texts

Staying connected to your friends is important, and sometimes texting is the easiest way to do so. Texts to friends are generally friendly as opposed to flirty - try these suggestions to start up a fun text conversation with your friend:

  • Text me an emoji that sums up your day so far.
  • I know you're busy, but I also want you to know that I really appreciate our friendship.
  • Thank you for being such a good friend!
  • I know I can count on you - I hope you know you can count on me.
  • We're basically a younger version of the Golden Girls.
  • What was your very first impression of me when we met?
  • This text officially declares you as my BFF.
  • We need to hang out soon, but I'll settle for texting until our schedules clear up a little.
Woman Messaging Friends Using Smartphone

Starting a Serious Conversation

If you're trying to start a serious conversation about your feelings or how you in some way felt wronged by the other person, start out by making sure the other person has the attention available to commit to the conversation. Otherwise, you won't receive the thoughtful responses you want. Try something along these lines:

  • Do you have the time to text with me about something right now?
  • What would be a good time for us to text about something important?
  • Are you in a spot where I can have your undivided attention for a few minutes?
  • I feel as though you want to talk to me about something. I have time now if you do.
  • I wish we had time to talk in person, but since we don't, let's text about (issue).
  • I know you're upset with me, but I'm ready to listen to whatever you want to say to me.
  • I want to talk about (issue). Do you mind if we do that now by text?
  • I owe you an apology. Do you mind if it's by text?
  • I feel like you've been distant lately. Can we talk about that right now?

Texts to Girls

Whether you're trying to get the attention of a girl you're attracted to, or if you want a text that will make a fellow girl smile, try one of these conversation starter texts, many of which work well for females or males:

  • Women who aspire to be equal to men aren't setting the bar high enough.
  • You're not strong for a girl - you're just strong.
  • Nevertheless, you persist. And that's amazing!
  • You inspire me to be a better person.
  • I'm amazed at how you can carry such a heavy crown and never let it fall from your head.
  • Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel, and all the warriors of Wakanda have nothing on you.
  • The best thing about female friendship is that I have your back and you have mine.
  • I love when we frighten the men around us with our strength.
Happy woman looking at cell phone

Texts to Guys

Sometimes a genuine compliment can be the beginning of a really good text conversation. Guy friends and romantic interests alike will likely enjoy supportive texts like these:

  • I appreciate your strength.
  • Some guys make me feel like a piece of meat, but you make me feel appreciated for who I am.
  • You carry yourself in such a confident way - I admire that about you.
  • I feel safe when I'm with you.
  • The next time I see you, please give me one of your famous hugs.
  • You're better for so much more than reaching stuff on high shelves and killing spiders.
  • I know a lot of boys, but you are a man.
  • Guys like you give me hope in the human race.

Texting as Conversation

What was once a way to get a short, quick note to someone has become a method of communication that is replacing traditional conversation. Master your texting game, but don't forget about the benefit of face-to-face conversation.

Conversation Starters for Texting