Dating can be both exhilarating and a little scary, especially if you are a man entering the dating arena after years of being out of the loop. Although you may feel overwhelmed and intimidated with just the idea of dating, this social experience can be a fun and exciting way to get to know interesting women, and learn what you are looking for in a mate.
Seven Tips for a Great Date
Like most things in life, the thought of dating can create more anxiety than the actual experience. Getting out there and meeting people will likely feel less stressful than you expect. Remember, your date is probably just as nervous as you are. Recognizing the fact that you are both in the same predicament can help underscore your similarities and create a certain level of comfort and comradeship. A few simple actions can help make your dating experience easier and more enjoyable.
Share a Little About Yourself
Although monopolizing the conversation by bragging on your accomplishments is never an attractive or endearing trait, sharing some of the thoughts and experiences that make you who you are will show her that you are sincere and willing to let her get to know you better. Likewise, ask her some questions that allow her to discuss some of her personal goals and experiences.
Make Eye Contact
Eye contact with your date indicates that you are an honest, confident person, advises Matt Schneiderman, in his eHarmony article, First Dates: Dos and Don'ts to Create Chemistry. Shifting your eyes all around the room can make your date feel uncomfortable and make you appear distracted. Instead, hold your date's gaze while she speaks, letting your eyes linger on hers for several seconds. This type of attentive gaze falls short of a staring contest, however.
If you are nervous, you can bet your date is sweating it out also. A friendly smile can help relax the situation and lighten the mood. Give her a welcoming and sincere smile that lets her know you are happy to be with her and that you are enjoying your time together. This doesn't mean you should paste a fake smile on your face throughout the date. Simply relax your mouth and respond to her comments with a genuine smile when the situation warrants.
Create a Romantic Ambience
Let your date know that you find her physically attractive and appealing by giving her flowers or bringing along a bottle of her favorite wine when she invites you over for dinner, recommends dating and relationship expert April Beyer. Small gifts that fit the occasion can let her know that you think about her when you are apart, and that you think she's special.
Julie Spira, dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, recommends avoiding first date mistakes by keeping your phone out of sight. Constantly checking your messages or texting while visiting can give your date the impression that you are not interested in her, or that you have a more important conversation going with someone else.
Dress for Success
Treat your date with as much consideration as you would a potential employer. When deciding what to wear, consider the type of date and the setting. For instance, a formal dinner in an upscale restaurant may require a suit and tie, while a walk in the park needs only casual, yet clean, attire and comfortable walking shoes. Dressing for success shows your date that you value her and want to make a positive impression.
Compliment Your Date
She will appreciate your kind words regarding her personality and appearance. Be careful not to overdo it, however. Noticing and commenting on just one or two things can help her feel appreciated and noticed.
It's important be yourself while you are dating. This doesn't mean lose your good manners or expose all your past faults or the most unattractive facets of past relationships. Simply stated, openness and honesty in the beginning of a potential relationship will help avoid problems later on. Sharing some of your hobbies, goals and principals will help you both realize whether you have enough in common to pursue a relationship with one another. Above all, remember to have fun and enjoy the experience. Don't let your rigid goals of finding the perfect mate with all the right attributes limit your ability to appreciate your date's individual characteristics and personality traits. You may just find love where you least expect it!