Do you ever wonder what to talk about with your boyfriend to help you become closer? For some couples, it's effortless to find topics to talk about, while others continuously struggle to find common ground. If you're in a relationship and need more things to talk about with your boyfriend, there are numerous conversation starters covering fun, serious, and random topics.
It is important to remember that the stage of your relationship may influence how you communicate with your boyfriend. New couples, especially those in a long distance relationship, often spend more time talking over the phone or communicating through text. Whether in person or miles apart, learning how to start a conversation with your boyfriend and having a few ideas to talk about in advance can go a long way in avoiding that awkward silence. Plus, the right topics or relationship questions can help you better understand the guy you're dating.
Fun Things to Talk to Your Boyfriend About
Sometimes the hardest conversations to have with your boyfriend are those first ones when you're just getting to know each other and you're not sure what to say. The day-to-day stuff might seem easy, but sometimes getting the conversation going can be a challenge. Here are some fun icebreakers to help get you started:
- Share something funny: Did anything funny happen to you at work, school, the gym, or some other place? Talk about it and ask if anything funny happened to him, too. Sharing a new joke you've heard (or even an old favorite) is also a fun way to get conversation started.
- New twists on old questions: Instead of just asking how his day was, take the conversation up a notch by asking the usual questions differently, like "What stood out about your day?" or "What blew you away at work/school today?"
- Food and drinks: Ask what he had to eat or drink that was the best he had that day. Talking about meals and drinks will help you get to know tastes and preferences, too.
- Ask about his pets and people: Whether he shares an apartment with a pet, lives with friends, or is close to his family, asking about his pets or the people he's close to is a great starter topic.
- What you've heard: Heard any new songs or music you liked today? Share and ask if he added anything new to his playlist. If you've listened to something new on a podcast or audio book, sharing that is another fun thing to talk to your boyfriend about.
- Favorite way to relax: Ask him about his favorite ways to wind down at the end of the day and share yours.
- New ideas or something he's learned: Maybe your boyfriend had a brilliant idea on his way to school or learned something new at work. It can be fun to share the new ideas and things you've learned that day.
- Current events: Talking about what's happening in the world (or in your own city or community) can help you share viewpoints and lead to great conversations.
If he's a new boyfriend, some of the best topics to talk about are those that build your relationship. Start by asking some standard get to know you questions so you can learn more about his personality and interests, or use a list of interesting questions to ask your boyfriend to get talking.
Some guys have an interest in sports, so talking or asking questions about his favorite sport or team is one way to get him talking. If you're a sports fan or have a favorite team, then this conversation starter with your boyfriend is a sure way to kick off communication.
- Ask him about highlights of when he played a sport. Which is his favorite to play?
- Talk with him about his favorite teams. What team is his favorite to watch?
- Get him to explain the rules for a sporting event you don't understand, and then have him take you to watch it.
- Ask him about sports terminology. What's a quarter? What's a half? Why do pitchers throw balls instead of strikes? Terminology is key.
- If you're already interested in the same sport, debate him about the merits of one team versus another. Guys like it when girls express an interest in what they love.
Don't be shocked if your guy isn't into sports; some guys aren't. If he's not, ask him what he does like.
Favorite Activities and Hobbies
If you're guy isn't into sports, there are sure to be plenty of things he's interested in. Whether he's passionate about painting or loves spending time outdoors, turning to conversation topics like his favorite activities will give you plenty of ideas to discuss when you're wondering what to talk with your boyfriend about. Consider asking him questions about any of these topics:
- Favorite book, movie, or music genres or titles
- Shows he, you (or both of you) are currently watching
- Hobbies or activities he's never tried but wants to
- Which activities or hobbies he absolutely loves and why
- What stuff he's enjoyed as a kid (and how/why that's changed)
- Whether he prefers to do things indoors or outdoors
- Whether he would rather do his favorite things alone or in a group
- What would his dream hobby be if he had all the time (or money) in the world
- What the most challenging part of his favorite activity is
- New things on each other's bucket lists
- Possible activities you can do with your boyfriend
Sharing Interests Over Phone and Text
When you have mutual interests, it's easy to pick a topic and start there. But how do you get there? Consider sending a quick message with one of these things to talk about with your boyfriend over text. They also work in person or over the phone, but the short answers are perfect when you want to send a quick text to stay in touch. Ask open-ended questions to keep your text conversation going when you both have time.
- What's your favorite movie?
- What's the scariest movie you've ever seen?
- Who's your favorite actor/ actress?
- What's your favorite ride at Disneyland? or Disneyworld?
- Do you like to read?
- Who's the best hero - Harry Potter, Percy Jackson or Edward Cullen?
- Where's the funnest place you've ever been to?
- What was your best vacation?
- What's your favorite food?
- Do you cook?
- What's your favorite restaurant?
- Do you have any hobbies?
- Who's your favorite superhero?
Remember, each of these questions is a kick-starter to get the conversation going and then see where it takes you! Don't be afraid to disagree with a choice. It can be loads of fun to debate and it can lead to more revealing conversations.
Serious Things to Talk About With Your Boyfriend
When your relationship progresses past the first few dates or you feel it's an appropriate time to ask personal questions, you might be at a loss on topics to talk about that bring out more in-depth or meaningful conversations. Understanding when and how to start a conversation with your boyfriend that opens him up to his personal life can be tricky, but here are some ideas to get you moving towards more serious discussions.
Understanding Each Other's Personalities
To get close to your boyfriend, it's important to get to know each other's unique personalities. To do so, you can ask deeper questions, listen intently to his response, and share your own experiences with him. Delve into these topics after you've spent some time together and have made it past the very beginning stages of the relationship. Here's what to talk about with your boyfriend to get to know his personality:
- Processing information: Get to know what makes him tick and how he processes information. You can ask, "When you have a big decision to make, how do you decide what to do or how to handle the situation?"
- Childhood: Ask him about his upbringing and who he is closest to in his family. This can give you some information about how he views relationships, and how relationships were modeled to him during his childhood.
- Unhealthy relationships: Ask him if there's ever been a time where he struggled with an unhealthy relationship and what that was like for him.
- Good relationships: Explore what he thinks makes a solid relationship and what factors contribute to not so good relationships.
- Friendships: One of the best ways to get to know someone's true self is to find out information about their closest friends. Ask him what his best friends are like and how they like to spend time together.
- What he notices: Ask him about what he tends to notice first when he sees a person, a work of art, and something in nature.
- Giving things up: Ask him if he's ever had to give something up and what that was like for him.
- Regret: Talk to him about if there's anything he has done or missed out on that he regrets.
- Pride and values: Talk about a time where he felt super proud of himself and why. This will give you some insight into what he values.
- External vs. internal tendencies: Discuss whether he's an internal or external processer and if he's ever had any difficulty with how he processes. You could ask, "Have you ever blurted something out that you didn't mean to say because you were processing things aloud?"
Conversations About His Family and Future
One way to really get to know your boyfriend is to encourage him to chat about himself. Ask your boyfriend about his childhood, his parents and siblings. Have him share memories, both good and bad, about growing up. You'll find that by doing this, you'll have a better understanding of him and the person he is today.
- Who is your favorite relative?
- Do you get along with your family?
- Do you want kids?
- What is the best piece of advice you received?
- What is the craziest thing you've ever done?
- Where do you want to go to college? Or where did you go to college?
- What is your dream job?
- Where do you see yourself in five to 10 years?
- What are your thoughts on marriage?
Sometimes the best conversation starters can be just talking about yourself. Tell him about a favorite aunt or that crazy road trip you took with your grandmother. Give him an opportunity to share a similar story.
Random Things to Talk About With Your Boyfriend
The easiest conversation kick-starter is asking your boyfriend what's up? If they say "nothing," then you can always switch to "wanna hear something funny that happened today?" Boyfriends are friends too, and you should treat them as such. Avoid yes and no questions because you want to start a conversation, not just get an answer. Check out these random things to talk about for when your conversation needs a boost.
- What is the craziest thing you've ever done?
- Can you believe what our teacher said about the homework? Want to work on it together? (Use this especially if it's a tough subject.)
- Did you hear the latest song by <insert the name of your favorite artist>?
- Ask "what if" questions. What if you could go anywhere in the world? Where would you go? Why? Don't worry if the questions are silly, just get the conversation going.
- Find out about what's important to him. If he could solve one problem in the world, what would it be? If he were president, what would be the first thing he did?
- Do you prefer dogs or cats?
- If you could have a superpower, what would it be? Debating the merits of telepathy versus flying versus telekinesis can sometimes get heated!
- You're stranded on a desert island, what one item could not live without?
- Video games are always good conversation starters, but if you hate them be wary about bringing them up. Most gamers can chat about their favorites for hours.
What Really Matters
Notice how you feel when you talk to your boyfriend. Are you energized and excited or bored and distracted? The key is not only finding topics to talk about with your boyfriend, but also enjoying his company. A great deal of time is spent doing normal daily things in a relationship, and being able to have conversations, as well as enjoy the silence in the less exciting moments, is important. If you're having a hard time finding things to talk about with your boyfriend, this dead end might be an indication that it's time to reevaluate your relationship.