Do you ever wonder what to talk about with your boyfriend to help you become closer? For some couples, it's effortless to find ideas to talk about, while others continuously struggle to find a common ground. If you're in a relationship and want more things to talk about with your bf, there are conversation starters covering topics from family to interests.
Talk to Your Boyfriend Like He's Your Friend
From casual matters to more serious subjects, choose conversation topics that build your relationship. If he's a new boyfriend, asking fun questions to get to know him, is a good start. Further down the line, ask him about deeper matters that will help solidify an emotional bond.
Breaking the Ice
Sometimes the hardest conversations to have are those first ones when you're just getting to know each other and you're not sure what to say. Day-to-day stuff might seem easy, you can talk about sports, video games, shared interests, or you can keep it random. Don't forget, "Hey, what's up? How are you?" always works to start a conversation. Other great topics to discuss include:
- Weekend plans - His and yours
- Favorite day of the week - Is Friday your favorite day because you don't have to get up early on Saturday?
- Shopping - Some guys like shopping, depending on the store. So, it doesn't hurt to ask about it, or you can even kick it off with a question about the latest video game system or smartphone.
- The simplest route to starting the conversation is: "Hey, how are you? What are you up to? Would you like to…?"
Offering the guy some insights and opportunities is not only a great way to get him talking. It's also a way to make plans together.
Understanding Each Other's Personalities
To get close to your boyfriend, it's important to get to know each other's unique personalities. To do so, you can ask deeper questions, listen intently to his response, and share your own experiences with him. Delve into these topics after you've spent some time together and have made it past the very beginning stages of the relationship. You can explore:
- Get to know what makes him tick and how he processes information- You can ask, "When you have a big decision to make, how do you decide what to do or how to handle the situation?"
- Ask him about his upbringing and who he is closest to in his family. This can give you some information about how he views relationships, and how relationships were modeled to him during his childhood.
- Ask him if there's ever been a time where he struggled with an unhealthy relationship and what that was like for him.
- Explore what he thinks makes a solid relationship and what factors contribute to not so good relationships.
- One of the best ways to get to know someone's true self is to find out information about their closest friends. Ask him what his best friends are like and how they like to spend time together.
- Ask him about what he tends to notice first when he sees a person, a work of art, and something in nature.
- Ask him if he's ever had to give something up and what that was like for him.
- Talk to him about if there's anything he has done or missed out on that he regrets.
- Talk about a time where he felt super proud of himself and why. This will give you some insight into what he values.
- Discuss whether he's an internal or external processer and if he's ever had any difficulty with how he processes. You could ask, "Have you ever blurted something out that you didn't mean to say because you were processing things aloud?"
Some guys have an interest in sports, so talking or asking questions about his favorite sport, is one way to get him talking.
- Ask him about highlights of when he played a sport. Which is his favorite to play?
- Talk with him about his favorite teams. What team is his favorite to watch?
- Get him to explain the rules for a sporting event you don't understand, and then have him take you to watch it.
- Ask him about sports terminology. What's a quarter? What's a half? Why do pitchers throw balls instead of strikes? Terminology is key.
- If you're already interested in the same sport, debate him about the merits of one team versus another. Guys like it when girls express an interest in what they love.
Don't be shocked if your guy isn't into sports; some guys aren't. If he's not, ask him what he does like.
When you have mutual interests, it's easy to pick a topic and start there. But how do you get there? Consider sending a quick message with one of these things to talk about with your boyfriend over text. They also work in person, but the short answers are perfect when you want to send a quick text to stay in touch.
- What's your favorite movie?
- What's the scariest movie you've ever seen?
- Who's your favorite actor/ actress?
- What's your favorite ride at Disneyland? or Disneyworld?
- Do you like to read?
- Who's the best hero - Harry Potter, Percy Jackson or Edward Cullen?
- Where's the funnest place you've ever been to?
- What was your best vacation?
- What's your favorite food?
- Do you cook?
- What's your favorite restaurant?
- Do you have any hobbies?
- Who's your favorite superhero?
Remember, each of these questions is a kick-starter; you get the conversation going and then see where it takes you! Don't be afraid to disagree with a choice. It can be loads of fun to debate the merits of one fandom against another or even one type of car or another and can lead to more revealing conversations.
Keeping It Random
The easiest conversation kick-starter is asking your boyfriend what's up? If they say "nothing," then you can always switch to "wanna hear something funny that happened today?" Boyfriends are friends too, and you should treat them as such. Avoid yes and no questions because you want to start a conversation, not just get an answer. Use anecdotes to get the conversation going:
- Can you believe what our teacher said about the homework? Want to work on it together? (Use this especially if it's a tough subject.)
- Did you hear the latest song by <insert the name of your favorite artist>? Check out YouTube for some really funny videos and share those!
- Ask "what if" questions. What if you could go anywhere in the world? Where would you go? Why? Don't worry if the questions are silly, just get the conversation going.
- Find out about what's important to him. If he could solve one problem in the world, what would it be? If he were president, what would be the first thing he did?
- Dogs or cats?
- If you could have a superpower, what would it be? Debating the merits of telepathy versus flying versus telekinesis can sometimes get heated!
- You're stranded on a desert island, what one item could not live without?
Video games are always good conversation starters, but if you hate them be wary about bringing them up. Most gamers can chat about their favorites for hours.
Him, His Family and His Future
One way to really get to know your boyfriend is to encourage him to talk about himself. Ask your boyfriend about his childhood, his parents and siblings. Have him share memories, both good and bad, about growing up. You'll find that by doing this, you'll have a better understanding of him and the person he is today.
- Who is your favorite relative?
- What is the best piece of advice you received?
- What is the craziest thing you've ever done?
- Where do you want to go to college?
Sometimes the best conversation starters can be just talking about yourself. Tell him about a favorite aunt or that crazy road trip you took with your grandmother. Give him an opportunity to share a similar story.
What Really Matters
Notice how you feel when you talk to your boyfriend. Are you energized and excited or bored and distracted? The key is not only finding things to talk about, but also enjoying his company. A great deal of time is spent doing normal daily things in a relationship, and being able to have conversations, as well as enjoy the silence in the less exciting moments, is important. If you're having a hard time finding things to talk about with your boyfriend, this dead end might be an indication that it's time to reevaluate your relationship.