The Real Story on Relationship Compatibility

Marcelina Hardy, MSEd, BCC
Compatible couple sitting near the river

You've heard the phrase opposites attract. But are they compatible? Compatibility is much more than just getting along with your significant other. It's knowing that your significant other has compatible views and opinions on some of the most important issues in your life. Most couples who are not compatible have relationship problems that lead to a break up.

What Is Compatibility in a Relationship?

When you first meet someone, you get to know the person by talking about experiences and worldviews. You might even take a new relationship compatibility test. As you continue to date the person, you start to realize that your boyfriend or girlfriend is either a lot like you or very different from you. As you probably have guessed, if he or she is like you, you are compatible with the person. However, if your significant other is different from you, it doesn't always mean you are not compatible with him or her.

When Similarities Attract

When someone in a relationship says or does something the other person would have said or done, it fuels the relationship positively, increasing compatibility. When these couples agree on issues or decisions made in the relationship, their love grows and they feel they are perfect for each other. Compatibility has a lot to do with the satisfaction and happiness you feel in your romantic relationships.

When two people are compatible, they enjoy each other's company and find it easy to talk to one another. This is because their similarities are so great that they become excited that someone else in the world shares the same likes and dislikes. However, some couples do not find excitement in similarities, which is when opposites attract.

When Opposites Attract

Sometimes when two people date and have different tastes, styles and thoughts about life, they get along and are compatible. The reason for this is that these types of couples find differences intriguing and they appreciate each other for them. Respect for each other's views and opinions are important in this type of relationship.

You may wonder how people that don't share the same feelings and thoughts about a variety of issues can still be compatible. It's because they complement each other. How many couples have you seen where one person is shy and the other a social butterfly? You normally wouldn't think they would get along because of their differing social personalities but instead, the shy person feeds off the outgoing person and vice versa. These couples find something they are missing in the other person, which keeps the relationship thriving. It's not a dating myth that opposites attract, although you will want to find some areas of agreement.

Do Compatible Couples Argue?

Many people who have relationship problems wonder, what happens to compatibility in a relationship when disagreements occur? Arguing in a relationship does not mean you and your significant other are not compatible. Every couple has disagreements and some have them more than others do. The key to arguing in a relationship is finding a solution to the argument that both people can deal with and accept. If an argument goes unresolved because either person is unable to compromise, compatibility issues begin to arise. Don't worry if you have had disagreements that continue to be either a battle or unspoken of, it's the accumulations of these arguments that result in incompatibility.

Finding a Compatible Soul Mate

You will know if someone is compatible with you. You will be able to speak to the person easily and have a good time being around him or her. You may or may not agree on many things and that makes you happy. You cherish the person for who he or she is and respect his or her differences. It may take a few dates or even asking a few relationship compatibility questions to find someone you mesh with the way you want to, but in time, you will find a compatible soul mate.

The Real Story on Relationship Compatibility