Guys looking for tips on dating a plus-sized woman should remember immediately that their girl is like every other woman out there: she wants to feel special. Accept her for the beautiful person she is, and treat her with unshakeable confidence that she is the woman you want. Whether a woman is a size 2 or a size 24, chances are she has had feelings of unattractiveness, loneliness, and insecurity. When dating a woman, any woman, a guy needs the confidence to slay these demons of attractiveness assaulting his girl on the inside. So how do you do this?
Remember What Attracted You
Plus-sized girls are beautiful. Attractiveness is found in how a woman carries herself, comforts herself and takes care of herself. Dating a plus-sized girl is not different from dating any other kind of girl. However, you should be aware that like all women, a plus-sized girl may have confidence issues and sensitivities to some types of teasing.
Not all women focus on weight, but for those that do, comments about her eating or size can be taken the wrong way. Focus on what attracted you to her, and be sure to compliment those traits regularly. Reminding a woman why you see her as fabulous can do wonders to boost her self-confidence and promote confidence in the relationship.
Base Your Activities on Common Interests
Communication is key to any relationship, particularly when it comes to dating. You can't know what a woman will enjoy if you don't talk to her.
- Don't limit your activities based on your perceptions of her size. Plenty of plus-sized women love amusement and water parks and just as many like to go out to dinner and the movies.
- Don't let size deter you from taking your date out to do things that you both enjoy. Half the fun of dating is learning what makes your girlfriend feel special.
- Ask her what she likes to do, find those common interests, and do them together.
- Tell her what you like to do.
You are dating because you enjoy each other, choose activities that let you continue to enjoy and get to know each other. Be honest and open to new experiences, and treat life like an adventure that you can both discover together. See an event that looks like fun and that you might both enjoy? Ask her.
Expressing Sexual Expectations
Sex is another area where women, regardless of size, may or may not have body issues. Every woman wants to feel like a goddess in the eyes of the man she is with. Don't be surprised if she expresses doubts about her attractiveness. While you are not responsible for her self-esteem, you are responsible for letting her know how attractive she is to you. It's not always about how to have better sex, so much as it is about how to be intimate and loving with your girl.
- Do let her know you think she's beautiful, emphasize her sensuality and how it affects you.
- Do not tease her if she's not willing to shed the sexy nighty, or try to 'shame' her into it. Accept her.
- Do discover what pleases her. Some women like a lot of foreplay, some like cuddling, still others enjoy a swift, deep penetration and active play. Ask intimate questions. Learn what your woman likes by being open to her telling you.
- Do not insist on positions or play she expresses fear or trepidation about, trust in intimate areas take time and discovering what gives your partner pleasure does, too.
- Do open a dialogue about different positions or methods you want to experiment with together for mutual benefit. You can make it a game, a sensual game designed to enhance the experience for both of you.
Never dismiss her concerns or laugh off her insecurities. Men like to 'fix' problems when they encounter them, and a woman's self-esteem issues can seem like a prime target for fixing. Show her your interest, but always at her pace. Ask her to tell you or show you what she wants. Let her set the terms, because no matter why a woman says 'no' - the answer should be accepted at face value.
Coping With Conflict
It's a mistake to assume every fight you'll have with a plus-sized woman has to do with her weight. Conversely, it's a mistake to believe that weight doesn't play a factor. How two people handle conflict is largely based on their personal experiences before and during the current relationship. The golden rule really is a 'one size fits all' when it comes to a relationship. Treat your partner how you would like to be treated:
- Listen to what she says.
- Respond to what she says.
- Don't dismiss her insecurities.
- Do let her know you care.
- Work together to find a resolution.
When conflicts come up, focus on the problem and keeping dialogue open. Solutions to common relationship problems are a good place to start.
Size Always Matters in Every Discussion
No matter what you say to your partner, the reality is you are struggling to overcome societal conditioning on her perception of self. There are healthy and unhealthy ways of addressing difficult discussion topics-including size.
Does this outfit look good?
She wants to know if she looks good to you. Tell her what you like or what you don't. Be straightforward.
Do I look fat?
Avoid the 'more of you to love' response. It doesn't always ring true with a woman, and it can sound condescending. Even if her weight isn't important to you, respect that it may be important to her. Be honest, you like her for her and what's important to her is what is important to you. Be supportive. That doesn't mean fix it, it means telling her straight up that you want her for her.
Your friends tease or make jokes about your taste in women.
Your friends may not be the most sensitive when it comes to your choice of dates, ignore them. Don't let them bad mouth your date or you. While people can be cruel, letting them make fun of your date by calling her names or offering nasty comments should never be acceptable.
- Remind friends that she is important to you.
- Don't get into fights, but defend her whether she is within earshot or not.
- Do not justify or "defend" your interest.
Remember, your friends do not have a say in your love life. While you may not want to issue an ultimatum, you may have to stay away from particularly cruel friends if you want your relationship with your plus-sized girl to work.
Why would you date me if you dated a skinny girl before?
This is a land mine-laced question, and no woman wants to hear about the woman before her no matter how much she asks. What she is looking for is validation of why you're with her. Tell her you aren't comparing her to any woman before. Ask if you can do something differently so she gets the validation she needs.
Be Confident, Show Her How You Feel
Nothing is sexier than a guy who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to show the world how he feels. Hold her hand, look into her eyes, and make her feel like she's a million bucks. You can, and should, only focus on the woman you're with. Treat her like she's your number one.