If you're dating - or thinking about dating - an older man, you may be concerned about keeping his interest. While your concerns are perfectly natural, keeping his interest is not as problematic as you might imagine. In fact, you may find that dating an older man is actually easier than dating a man your age who is less mature than you.
Five Tips for Dating Older Men
According to an article in Ask Men, women who date older men often do so for a variety of reasons. For example, they may desire financial stability, be attracted to a confident male who has clear goals, or find an older man able to be more sensual in the bedroom. Keep these tips in mind to help your relationship start out - and stay - on the right path.
1. Ask His Opinion
Since an older man may have a broader perspective on life simply because he is more experienced, you can ask him questions that a younger man might find threatening. For instance, you can ask him about career growth or money management because he is likely to be very supportive, offering you advice from his experience, referring you to professional colleagues, or simply pointing out where you can find your best answers.
Additionally, an older man will probably really enjoy talking things over with you. By asking him about important decisions you're thinking of making, he will not only be able to offer insights, but he will also feel recognized and appreciated. Older men like to share their knowledge, wisdom, and advice. They enjoy being generous and helpful.
2. Stay Well-Informed on Current Affairs
If you focus on reading more and staying abreast of current events, you'll find it easy to dispense with the awkwardness that sometimes accompanies getting to know one another. Being on top of what is happening in the world will make you a good conversationalist.
Learn how to talk about a variety of topics that might interest a professional man or one involved in business or current events. While you don't have to be an expert on the things that interest a man with an established career, you need to know enough to ask interesting questions. It's only when you're completely clueless and naive that he might feel uncomfortable talking to you about social issues or inviting you to meet with his friends at cocktail parties.
3. Pursue Your Interests
When you do your thing, such as pursue your favorite athletic interests, forms of entertainment, education, or career path, you will give your older man space to do his thing too. Some men, especially men at the height of their career, often need space to just figure out their next move in life or how to resolve work-related problems. If you're busy doing your thing, then you won't smother him with an excessive amount of attention.
4. Don't Become Dependent or Needy
While men do appreciate a woman who needs them, they also appreciate a woman who is independent - someone who is able to make decisions, earn money, and take care of herself. When you don't feel independent, you place a burden on the relationship. Even if a man earns much more than you and can easily take care of all your expenses, he will feel stifled if he has to take care of all the bills and expenses, as well as make all the decisions on where to go out for dinner, where to shop, and other simple things. So stay self-assured, confident, and fairly independent.
5. Avoid Referring to the Past
Your past and his past are different. So avoid talking about past events, especially cultural events, like movies or trends. When you talk about these things, it emphasizes the age difference and creates an awkward feeling for both of you. Stay centered on what is happening now or how the future might look.
Age Doesn't Have to Be an Issue
When you meet an older man that you want to date, don't let age be a barrier. As Lori Gorshow, a professional dating coach with Dating Made Simple points out, "Science has shown us that chronological age is only a number. Areas like health, family history, exercise and mental attitude are more of an indicator of body age than the birth number." She points out, "Some people may be much younger than their actual age mentally, emotionally and socially, while others may have had life experiences that make them seem older than their birth age."
If you really like someone who is considerably older, the relationship is usually based on compatible personalities, common interests, and chemistry. An age difference between two people who really like each other is something that quickly becomes a non-issue.