Resources, Advice & Tips for Covid-19
Read More

How to Speed Date

Sand-filled hour glass timer

Speed dating celebrated its formal kick off back in 1999 when Rabbi Yaacov Deyo took a page from the Jewish tradition of bringing young singles together at chaperoned events where they could meet and mingle with the goal of marriage in mind. Rabbi Deyo tweaked the original concept, opened it to the public at large, and kicked the dating process into high gear.

What Exactly Is Speed Dating?

Have you spent weeks or months dating someone, only to realize that you simply don't have enough in common on which to build a lasting, loving relationship? Do you ever wish you could get all that wasted time back? So do lots of other people, and that is the very reason speed dating came into existence. Finally, someone figured out that if two people sat down in front of each other for a few minutes and blurted out exactly what they're looking for, it could eliminate a lot of heartache and lost time. At its best, speed dating can quickly put you in touch with someone you have a good chance to be compatible with, and at its worst, you never have to see the other person again, so who cares? Speed dating is all about cutting to the chase in order to find that special someone sooner rather than later.

How It Works

Welcome to the eight minute date. Yes, the amount of minutes may change slightly depending on who's hosting the event, but that's about the average time you will spend with each potential soul mate. Single people responding to an advertisement or online dating site will gather at a predetermined cafe or bar where they will each receive a name tag, a pencil and a scorecard. Everyone is randomly paired up to begin the first 'date', and the timer is set. For the next eight minutes each couple enters into a rapid conversation while trying to seem witty and attractive to one another. The only topics that are taboo are generally home addresses and career info. This helps participants keep their anonymity in the event that they are not interested in someone who is interested in them. When the timer buzzes, everyone marks on their scorecards whether or not they would like to see that person again. Then, everyone changes partners, and the next eight minute date begins.

And so the process goes until everyone has had a chance to meet all of the available singles. Scorecards are turned in to the event organizers at the end of the evening, and if anyone whose name you've checked has checked your name too, you will each be provided with the other's phone number. Then you are free to see where the potential relationship goes from there.

The Drawbacks

Who can really say if eight minutes is enough time to make any kind of valid judgment about a potential partner? Are you a little on the shy side, but warm and witty once you get to know someone? If so, speed dating might not be the ideal venue for you. On the other hand, almost anyone can make a good first impression if they try hard enough, but it's harder to make that good impression last on a daily basis.

Getting Started

There are a number of places to get started with speed dating. The Internet is a good place to start looking around for events.

  • Speed Date: This is an online speed dating service that allows you to go on fast, five-minute dates live with a number of people locally. The site also allows you to talk to as many as 15 different singles in an hour. The website is free and you can sign up in a matter of minutes.
  • Pre-Dating: This isn't a website for dating. It's a website that will refer you to speed dating sessions in your area. If you don't meet someone at an event that you want to see again, your next speed dating event is free. Gift certificates are available for purchase.
  • Date Switch: Hurry Date is another service that will set you up with speed dating events in your area. This includes parties where you will meet a large number of singles in a short period of time. The site is not just for people looking for serious relationships. You may be seeking something more casual, or just want to find someone to engage in an activity such as tennis with. Hurry Date is there to help with any of these concerns.

Why Speed Date?

Speed dating tends to bring together people who are serious about finding a lasting relationship. It's more straightforward than traditional dating, where it may take weeks or months to figure out that the object of your affection likes being with someone, but doesn't necessarily want to make a full commitment. When you look at it that way, what could an investment of eight minutes hurt?

How to Speed Date