For many couples, the beginning of relationships is the easy part, but progressing relationships to the next stage sometimes takes a little more finesse. Does your relationship need a little help progressing to the next stage? You're not alone. Fear of commitment is a biggie when it comes to long-lasting relationships. Of course there are other issues as well.
There isn't one set formula to use in progressing relationships. Obviously, your relationship's success depends on two very important factors…you and your partner. Communication is obviously one of the most important points of any relationship, whether it be in the work place or in your personal life. A relationship will really never grow beyond the surface and into something deeper if the two people involved aren't willing to talk! By talk, I don't just mean the trivialities of the day, but instead a sharing of each other's hopes and dreams. Before you jump into each other's secret thoughts, however, you'll want to take it a bit slow.
Sometimes it might seem easier to progress a relationship online simply because you don't have to talk face to face. There is safety in anonymity, right? If you don't like what you read, or you're embarrassed about what you typed online, you can simply disappear into the cyber world. However, if you are developing an enjoyable online experience with someone else, it may be time to progress to the next step…meeting face to face. You can only hide behind the computer screen for so long. When you first start chatting, remember that what you share with the other person should be the truth, just in case you one day meet in person and a solid relationship develops!
He Said, She Said
In many relationships, one person is more interested in moving the relationship forward than the other person. Some people feel that overall the woman is more interested in taking it to the next step before the man might be. While another common misconception is that men are much more focused on sex than women. At least during the first few dates, however, this isn't always the case. However, if one person is bound and determined to force the relationship into a more serious commitment, and the other person is just looking for fun, chances are that a natural progression may not follow.
- Don't force the issue. Let time take its course.
- Discuss the good things about your relationship. Sometimes you just need to point out the positives.
- Listen to each other. Discuss your wants and needs with the other person. Find out what you have in common, and what your goals for the future are.
- Don't obsess. If marriage is on your mind, don't obsess over it to the point that you scare your significant other off!
Hints and Innuendos
Other than smacking your partner over the head to wake him or her up, progressing your relationship from friendship to something more may take some work. Sometimes, it's easy to settle into a pattern. That pattern may involve a date once or twice a week which ends with a peck on the cheek. It may involve a series of dates with a group of people, but you're never really alone. Maybe the pattern involves an outing every Saturday night which culminates with a romp between the sheets. If you are both satisfied with this pattern, then that's fine. However, if you want it to progress to the next step, try the following:
- Drop hints. Let your significant other know that you are looking for more. While you don't want to overpower him or her with your desires, you also don't want to remain in a holding pattern. If he doesn't get the hint, it may be time to move on.
- Be confident. Don't be wimpy or whiney. There is a fine line between confident and cocky. Try to walk it, and let your guy or girl see that you'll only wait for so long.
- Talk, talk, talk. If your sweetie won't communicate with you, how can you ever have a fulfilling relationship?
- Listen, listen, listen. In the same respect, you have to listen to what the other person is saying, whether in person or in body language. Pay attention to the signals you are being thrown.
- Counseling-Finally, if you are really interested in progressing the relationship, maybe a little couple's counseling could help. Sometimes it helps to have someone teach you how to communicate.