Lesbian Dating Tips for Singles

Gabrielle Applebury
Happy couple sitting together

Entering into the world of dating can feel intense, especially if you're newly single, or just beginning to date women for the first time. Understanding your needs and what you want in a partner can help you find the type of relationship you desire.

Helpful Lesbian Dating Advice for Singles

It can be difficult to figure out what you want when you potential partners. You may be new to the same-sex dating scene, or maybe you're just getting out of a relationship. Being mindful of what you want in a partner, and what type of relationship you're looking for, can help you narrow down your search.

Self Reflecting During the Dating Process

Think about the people you are unconsciously attracting into your life romantically. Spend some time reflecting on:

  • Who you think a great partner for you would be like
  • How they would treat you
  • What your life would look like together

If you're having a hard time imagining a partner or figuring out what types of personalities work best with yours, take some time to really think about this. The more solid ideas you have about what you want out of a relationship and partner, the easier it will be for you to identify a great match once you start dating.

Pointers for Dating a Newly Out Woman

Coming out is a deeply personal and often times an emotionally intense process. Whether you have been out for a while or are newly out as well, being sensitive and supportive to a newly out partner is an important aspect of building trust within your relationship. To ensure that you are being considerate:

  • Ask questions with integrity when it comes to her coming out process.
  • Share what your coming out experience was/is like.
  • Avoid putting pressure on her to share her experience with people she isn't comfortable with.
  • Ask what type of affection she is comfortable with in public, in front of her friends, and in front of her family if applicable.
  • Understand that she may be out to some people, but not to others and that she may act differently depending on who she feels comfortable with.
  • Be patient with her process and ask to offer advice if you'd like to share your thoughts with her about your experience.

Tips for Discussing Relationship Needs When Dating

Be mindful of your date or partner's intentions when you begin seeing someone new. Whether you want a serious or more casual relationship, be sure to discuss your relationship needs early on. This can be done casually on the first date by letting them know what you're looking for in general terms. As your relationships progress, continue to discuss both of your needs as it's common for people to change their minds during the course of a relationship.

What to Talk About

You can touch upon topics such as intimacy, kids, money handling, and travel. This can be done in a more general way at first, and then brought up again in the context of your relationship if you begin to get serious. You can ask:

  • "What do your career goals look like?"
  • "Do you see yourself wanting children in the future?"
  • "Is travel an important part of your life?"
  • "What's your love language, or how do you show someone you love them?"

Future Children Possibilities

Within the LGBTQ community, around four percent of same-sex couples are raising adopted children in the United States, with others may use a surrogate or use donating sperm and to carry their own child. With so many options available for same sex women when it comes to having children, it's important to discuss your wants as your relationship progresses to be sure that you both are on the same page. If not, you will have to decide if your current relationship is the best fit for you.

Cheerful couple with baby boy on bed at home

Tips for Meeting Potential Partners

It can feel intimidating to put yourself out there and begin the dating process, whether you're starting over after a failed relationship or are newly out. Here are a few tips to help you get started in your dating endeavors:

Connections Through Friends and Family

Sometimes the best way to meet people is through friends or family members. Let your trusted friends and family know what type of person you are interested in dating and see if they know of anyone to set you up with. It is possible that friends of friends can end up connecting you with a great partner.

Join Lesbian Singles Clubs

Join an active singles club that brings people together regularly. You can also join a meet-up specifically for women who identify as lesbians. Meetups has over 2,000 groups of varying activities just for women who identify as lesbians. Spend a day kayaking with a new friend on the river. A day of volleyball or a barbeque at the beach make fun backdrops for a singles club. Join a club that offers its members plenty of activities. These fun mixers make it easier to meet new people.

Three young women hiking in the mountains looking at map

Local Community Centers

Local community centers are a terrific place to meet lots of new people. Many sponsor dances, service projects and other events that can turn out to be great mixers. Even if you don't meet anyone here, you're bound to make some new friends which should help you expand your dating network.

Online Dating Services

The Internet is full of dating websites and chat rooms that can help you target your ideal mate, not just by gender or sexual preference, but on many other levels including religion, hobbies, personality types, etc. Try sites like Pink Cupid, a site for lesbians only and LesbianMatch, an online lesbian dating website.

Social Networking

Sometimes meeting Mrs. Right happens through networking. Try social networking sites like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat to build your online presence. Meet and make new friends every day for free. GayFriendFinder.com, the leading personals network for people who identify as gay and lesbian, is another great option.

Woman writing on her computer

Newspaper and Local Media

Newspapers and local magazines are a veritable treasure trove of resources. These publications nearly always have a personals section where you can find contact info and short bios on others looking for same sex dating relationships. Bios can help you narrow the dating field to people who might enjoy the same hobbies that you do, or who share some other mutual interests which can increase your chances for compatibility in the long run.

Know Yourself Before Dating

Before you embark on the dating process, get to know yourself, your interests, your relationship goals, and your general needs. Think about what you're looking for when it comes to finding a partner. As you begin dating around, be mindful of staying safe, especially when you're meeting someone new for the first time. Enjoy the dating process and be patient with yourself as you explore different relationships.

Lesbian Dating Tips for Singles