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Dating Tips for Introverts and Extroverts

Nancy R. Fenn

Dating can be difficult for introverts and extroverts. Since introverts generally don't enjoy small talk the way extroverts do, keeping a conversation going between these two may be agonizing at best. Moreover, when two introverts meet, the conversation may never get started at all. Fortunately, there are some techniques to improve your introvert dating experiences.

Dating Expert Nancy R. Fenn

Nancy R. Fenn is The IntrovertZCoach. She is an INFP type introvert on a crusade to raise awareness that introversion is a legitimate personality type. Nancy has helped over 100,000 introverts from all over the world with her gigantic website full of resources, tips, encouragement and sharing by and for introverts. Nancy has written a unique and friendly introvert dating eBook, titled Dating Tips for Introverts. This book explains how to be yourself and succeed in finding a soul mate.

Interview with Nancy R. Fenn about Introvert Dating

Dating can be a real struggle for many introverts. What are the challenges introverts face that make dating difficult?

Introverts need to get proactive about dating. No, we don't want to join the beer belly contest at the local watering hole or sign up for speed dating, but we can realize that there are others out there like us who prefer the quieter things in life. A walk in the park, a shared reading experience, an outing with pets … these are the things introverts love to do! Look for these qualities in another. And most of all, be yourself and be proud!

Is the Internet the best place for introverts to meet someone?

Coming of age, the Internet is a fabulous place for anybody to meet someone but especially introverts! We love email where we can control access and pace. We tend to be on the Internet a lot anyway. And we have the time we need to think things over before taking the next step. eHarmony is a great site for introverts.

What are some other places that are good for introverts to find a date?

There are eight different types of introverts. I suggest very specific places to meet in my handy and popular eBook, Dating Tips for Introverts. Here's an example. INFP introverts are called Healers or Poets. They match up well with ESTP Promoters. An example of a couple like this is Jackie Onassis and John Kennedy. INFPs can meet ESTPs by joining groups that crusade for the things they believe in. Both these types are crusaders and can be found at such gatherings or in professions that advocate for underdogs and causes.

Should introverts only date other introverts?

Absolutely not. I just gave the example of Jackie Onassis and John Kennedy, a happily married introvert and extrovert pair. Taking a closer look at the things people really have in common will reveal that introverts can pair up with either introverts or extroverts depending on other criteria more important than their social styles.

What are some ways that an introvert can attract the kind of person he or she wants to meet?

By the Laws of Attraction, the best way to attract what you want is to be yourself. Learn to embrace your introversion and be proud of who you are. Life is a mirror. Be honest about yourself and have confidence that there is someone out there for you.

Starting up a conversation can be a struggle when two introverts meet for the first time. What tips or advice do you have to help people overcome the initial awkwardness?

That's easy! Do things instead of talking. Introverts hate small talk. It exhausts and nauseates us. We abhor it. Instead of torturing each other over coffee, meet somewhere like the zoo or see a great movie together.

What advice do you have for extroverts whom are dating an introvert?

Extroverts need to understand three things:

  • Introverts need lots of time to themselves.
  • Introverts say little but mean every word of it. He or she may say "I love you" only once but mean it for all eternity.
  • Introverts can't become extroverts any more than extroverts can become introverts, so be tolerant of differences.

Dating Advice

While introvert dating may not always be easy, it doesn't mean introverts are out of luck when it comes to love. Many introverts enjoy very deep and satisfying relationships.

Dating Tips for Introverts and Extroverts