Discovering how to find someone through online dating takes a little research and a sprinkle of patience, spiced throughout with a lot of determination. Attracting viewers and maintaining interest through email correspondence is already a challenge. However, your ultimate goal will be to turn those email messages into dates and maybe even a healthy relationship down the road.
Learning how to find someone through online dating processes is very similar to a sales course. The concept is to attract customers, deal with rejections, and then close the deal by arranging a date to meet in person.
How to Find Someone Through Online Dating
Analyze your Profile
Your goal, if you chose to accept it, is to simulate the most realistic profile on your dating website. While the idea is to be accurate, in order to be successful in finding your perfect date, there are some tricks to also consider.
- Accurate information on the question and answer portion is the key to matchmaking achievement.
- There is a strong bias toward profiles that contain a photo, so make sure you have one.
- Age is one of the most common criteria searched for - feel free to round your age slightly to fit within a typical range.
- Geography is another crucial component that potential matches pursue; for simplicity, use a nearby large metropolitan area as your home base.
Take the time to also review how your dating site prioritizes searches. Is it alphabetical? Do they place the most active members first? Try a search and see how many prospects come up. If your site has lots of members, you will want to try and appear on the top of the search pile. Adjust your profile or keep active, whichever works best for your chosen community, as most searchers will not stream to the bottom of very long lists.
While you can sit back and wait for others to find you, the most effective way to learn how to find someone through online dating is to get out there and explore. Be proactive, because many online dating individuals are afraid to make the first move out of fear of rejection. Once you have determined your personal filters, start to search immediately and keep the following factors in mind:
- Visit your site often to review new members and maintain consistency.
- Hang out in the chat rooms to preview other members.
- Since most online daters start with contacts at the top of their search lists, you can instead work from the bottom up to avoid extra competition.
- If you find a good match - don't delay making contact as many people move on quickly.
- Realize that it is common to fudge a little on your profile, so be realistic in your expectations.
Once you have created a list of possibilities, next is making the actual contact. This is the time to narrow your focus, as you do not want to have numerous email exchanges going on at one time. A good initial goal is to contact between six and twelve potential matches, as many will not respond. Even if you get some good replies, stay anonymous for as long as possible to gain trust and ensure a mutual attraction before disclosing personal data.
When you make a first contact either as a follow up to someone else's interest or a completely blind approach, there are some basic rules to follow:
- Compliment or comment on something you read in the other person's profile, but not the picture.
- Start with the focus on the person you are contacting to spark interest as everyone loves to talk about themselves.
- Make each email personal - no bulk messages.
- Always include your first name in a signature on the email message; this will personalize the contact without invading your privacy.
- Remember that email has a tendency to sound a little harsh and impersonal; consider having a close friend preview some of your first tries.
- Always start slow even in an online relationship.
- While there are certainly some criminals in cyberspace, try to not be too paranoid as most online daters are really just like you.
Realize that most people you will meet online are not an ideal match and rejection is an inevitable part of the dating process. Whether you have been rejected or if there is someone you would like to discontinue your relationship with, remember that a real person sits on the other end of your computer connection with real thoughts and feelings. While most feel that it is not necessary to reply to initial contacts if you are not interested, it is important to let someone politely know that you would like to move on if you have had a series of email conversations. In order to find a match through online dating, rejection is a natural part of this process. Embrace it and put it into perspective. If you have been rejected, move on quickly and don't take it personally.
Transitioning from Virtual to Real
While it is always best to stay with email until both parties are completely comfortable, there will come a day when it is time to actually meet. The ultimate in learning how to find someone through online dating will eventually mean a face-to-face date. Before this day arrives, be sure that you have covered all major deal breakers in your email conversations as most people are more comfortable discussing controversial subjects behind the camouflage of a computer screen.
Once you are sure both of you are ready, start with a phone conversation first. When you are comfortable talking on the phone, then moving to an actual meeting can happen much quicker. While arranging the first real date, remember to always keep safety in mind. Remember that though you may feel you already know this person, you really do not. For those first couple of dates always:
- Meet in a public place - a coffee shop is ideal.
- Connect during appropriate times - not late in the evening or early in the morning.
- Bring money and a cell phone.
- Let a close friend or family member know exactly where you will be and when you should arrive home.