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Decoding 13 "Funny" Things Women Say to Men

Heather Long
Man trying to figure it out

Not all of the funny things women say to men are humorous. In fact, the word choices that some women use could be indicators of a potential argument looming on the horizon.

A Guide to Funny Things Women Say to Men

The word 'fine' is a single word answer women use when they want an argument or debate to end. She is not conceding her part nor is she admitting anyone else right. She just wants the debate over. Men should use the following guide to translate the funny things women say to them in order to avoid further misunderstandings or anger.


In the relationship help guide, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Dr. John Gray describes the need for galactic translators between men and women. What a woman says and what a man hears are not always in tune with each other. Conversely, what a woman says and what she means may also be at odds. For example:

  • Five Minutes

When a woman says five minutes, time is relative. The man who is waiting may experience five minutes as twenty minutes and adjust his expectations accordingly. Five minutes is not elastic when she is the one waiting.

  • In a little while

This is a vague measurement of time and a woman typically means that a "little while" equals to an undetermined time frame less than 59 minutes.

  • Soon

Most women use 'soon' loosely in terms of when dinner will be ready, when they will be home or when they will be done shopping - expect a window of one to three hours.

  • Today

If she is referring to herself, it means she has until tomorrow. If she is talking about you, she means right now.


Women and men view relationships in different terms and milestones. While some couples may agree that the first time they met is pivotal, women will often attribute that first meeting with more emotional weight than a man. Some word choices are warning signs and others include unsaid phrases that hang out unspoken between a couple, so men should pay particular attention to:

  • It doesn't feel like we talk anymore.

This translates to, "I am feeling neglected and I would like you to remind me of how important I am to you."

  • Why don't we cuddle anymore?

In other words, "Can we cuddle now? I want to feel safe and secure with you."

  • Why can't we ever go out, just the two of us?

She really means, "I don't want to go with your friends/family/co-workers. I just want it to be you and I."

  • Whatever you want to do, honey.

She's really thinking, "But choose my suggestions please, so that I can enjoy myself too."

Argumentative Words

Among the funny things women say to men are words of war that wave a red flag at the bull in the relationship. These words are often spit out in the heat of anger or exhaled in a long sigh of frustration. The hardest part about these words is that they can annoy a man before he has a chance to really dissect their meanings.

  • Nevermind

Whenever that word is used in a discussion about relationships, it indicates frustration. She doesn't want you to nevermind. In fact, she wants you to do the exact opposite, but she feels you are not seeing her viewpoint.

  • That's okay

This is usually said in response to an apology you are making to a woman. She doesn't really mean it is okay. She just means she doesn't want to talk about it right now or she feels petty because she's still angry about it no matter how sincere you sound.

  • Whatever

Dangerous word that is as dismissive as it is combative. Women use this when they want your argument to go away.

  • Don't worry, I got it.

This is another warning phrase and depending on her tone may mean you need to bring flowers and apology because you probably forgot something.

  • Nothing

Remember gentlemen, nothing usually means she does not want to discuss it right now or she really wants you to figure it out on your own.

Translating What Women Want

Understanding what women want from what they say was the topic for the Mel Gibson film of the same name. While this guide is a great way for men to begin understanding the funny things women say to men, it is important to note that each woman is different. As you get to know a woman, you will learn her catchphrases, her danger signs and begin to translate what she means from what she says.

Try to always assume good intentions and when all else fails, let her know that while you may be having trouble getting it right, you are not going to give up trying.

Decoding 13 "Funny" Things Women Say to Men