What You Need to Know About First Kisses

Marcelina Hardy, MSEd, BCC
couple kissing

First kisses are something you dream of. It's something that you've waited forever for. And, it is intimidating. Don't sweat it though. Tips on how to be a good kisser for your first kiss can show you how to relax or perfect your technique. Remember your first kiss only happens once, savor it.

Your First Kiss Fears

If you're having some anxiety about how to have your first kiss, you aren't alone. Everyone has some fear when it comes time to pucker up for the first time. What do most people worry about when it comes to how to get your first kiss?

  • Will he or she think I am a good kisser? I don't know how to have a good first kiss.
  • What if it's unexpected and my breath smells bad?
  • I have never kissed anyone. I don't even know what to do.
  • How will I know he or she wants to kiss me?
  • What if we bump heads? Which way do I turn my head? I don't know what to do on a first kiss.
  • How much tongue do I use? Do I use my tongue?
  • Where do I put my hands?
  • How long do I kiss for? How will I know when to stop?
  • When do I turn my head during a kiss? Do I turn my head?

It's okay. You won't have to know everything about kissing when you kiss for the first time because guess what? Your first kiss won't be a 20 minute make-out session.

You will most likely have a five second (if that) kissing session that will consist of two lips puckered that touch each other with some suction. That's it. You'll release, look into each other's eyes and you'll think it's magical. Your kissing partner will probably think it's pretty awesome too.

While this may seem pretty simple, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be armed with some tips for first kisses before you enter your first kissing experience.

The Lowdown on How to Have a First Kiss

It's time for some kissing education. While this prepares you to kiss for the first time, the best way to perfect your kissing technique is to do it. Practice makes perfect - so once you know how to kiss, don't be afraid to pucker up when the moment calls for it.

Now, for your lesson on kissing.

Lesson #1: Invest in Mints

Have mints on hands at all times. You can easily swallow a mint when you're about to kiss someone. That way, you can be assured that your breath is fresh and clean.

Lesson #2: How to Know When to Kiss

You'll know someone wants to kiss you when the person looks deeply into your eyes and leans into you. You'll feel it inside you that there's something about to happen. If you start leaning into the person, and he or she doesn't step back or lean back, you know it's time...a special time for a kiss. You may also decide to ask permission to kiss the person if leaning in doesn't feel right.

Lesson #3: Imagine Kissing

Right now, try it. Imagine kissing the person you think you'll be kissing for the first time. Pay attention to where your hands will go.

Usually, they go on the person's waist, or if you're embracing, in the middle of your partner's back. If you are sitting next to each other, it's okay to hold his or her hand(s), or place a hand on the arm, or upper thigh.

Lesson #4: Relax Your Body

Take a deep breath and let it all out, so your body is relaxed. If you are too uptight, your lips will remain tight, and your kissing partner will feel that. Remember, you are figuring out how to do your first kiss so it doesn't need to be perfect.

Lesson #5: Move Slowly Into the Kiss


Moving slowly into the kiss will also give you time to prepare you to form your mouth for the kiss. Don't start puckering when you are a foot from the other person. When you're about five inches or so, open your mouth slightly and pucker up a little. It's not exactly a classic pucker when you are romantically kissing, it's more of a loose pucker. This makes how to do a first kiss easy.To resolve your anxiety about which way to move your head, move in slowly for the kiss. That way, you can watch which way the person you are kissing is moving his or her head, and you can turn the opposite way. See, if you go too quickly, you may go the say way, and then BAM - knocked heads. It will make it more special if you move more slowly too.

Young couple about to kiss

Lesson #6: Close Your Eyes

Some people don't close their eyes, but some kissing partners are spooked by that. So for the sake of not running off your first kissing partner, just close your eyes when you lock your lips. Someday, if it makes you too uncomfortable to close your eyes, you can take a stand and just keep them open. It's up to your kissing partner to deal with it if he or she doesn't like it.

Lesson #7: No Need to Turn Your Head or Use Tongue

Good news! For your first kiss, you don't need to turn your head. Actually, when you turn your head, it's really more than one kiss. You are actually releasing a little when you turn your head during a kiss. You kiss, stop a little, turn your head and continuing kissing. That's for another lesson though.

You also don't need to use your tongue. That's for more experienced kissers.

Lesson #8: Savor the Moment and Slowly Let Go

Once you lock your lips, savor the moment. You've done it! You are in your first kiss - AH! How awesome is that?

When does it end? No need to count. Just wait a little and then slowly move your head back a little. Your kissing partner will understand that the kissing is over and move his or her head back too.

As you move back, slowly open your head, look into the eyes of your kissing partner and smile.

Bonus Tip:

Sneak in a quick little kiss once you separate from the lips. It's cute and shows that you really liked the kiss. It will send an extra little shiver down his or her spine.

More First Kiss Tips

A first kiss can bring with it anxiety as you anticipate it and worry that you might mess it up. Keeping it simple and simply enjoying the moment can help you not worry so much. As mentioned above, if you're wondering how to be a good kisser for your first kiss, the key is to not try to get too fancy with the kiss. In fact, the best tips for your first kiss are to forget everything you've seen in the movies and to concentrate on the connection of the lips - that's a kiss. Opening your mouth, shoving your tongue in the other person's mouth, or moaning loudly will likely just make the other person uncomfortable (especially if it's their very first kiss too). Your tips for a first kiss shouldn't come from actors on TV as they don't necessarily present realistic scenarios.

You're Ready for Your Kiss

You have the knowledge now to kiss someone and with this knowledge, you have the power. Take it and use it to create one of the most memorable moments of your life. Your fears will soon be behind you as soon as you have your first ever kiss. You'll have to do it sometimes, so it might as well be now.

What You Need to Know About First Kisses