The Lowdown on Discreet Affairs

discreet affair

Is a discreet affair possible? While it will not be easy, there are people that have a discreet affair. Figure out why you would consider risking it, your expectations and the types of discreet affairs out there.

Why Risk It?

People have discreet affairs for all sorts of reasons. For some, an affair is an escape from the realities of life. For others, it's the first step to realizing what they think is a truly loving relationship. Do affairs lead to marriage and a happily ever after ending? Obviously, since most affairs are conducted in secret, there aren't any accurate statistics referring to the success of marriages between couples who have affairs. However, statistics typically point to more married men than married women who have affairs…as much as 60 percent! So, why risk it? Men and women often have different reasons for jumping into an affair.


Why do men cheat? Who can say for sure, but if you were too randomly (and secretly, of course!) poll men, who have cheated or contemplated cheating, the reasons may include the following:

  • Sex-This isn't a big surprise. For many men, sex with their wives isn't happening as often as they'd like, so they look for it elsewhere.
  • Excitement-This involves the thrill of the chase. It actually allows men to relive their early dating years in a way.
  • Virility-You've heard the term "mid-life crisis", and this is often the case when a man cheats. He wants reassurance that he is still a virile, desirable man, and he searches for this reassurance from other women.
  • Exits-In some cases, the man is looking for a way out, so he starts an affair with the often subconscious thought that he will get caught.

Obviously, these are only a few, very general reasons, and there are numerous other factors that often surround the instigation of a discreet affair.


Why do women cheat?

  • Attention-Probably the number one reason that women cheat is a desire for more attention. They may not be getting their emotional needs met at home.
  • Sex-While this may not be as prevalent a reason for women as it is for men, the desire for more sex as an excuse for an affair still sometimes holds true.
  • Escape-For some women, the need to escape from the humdrum routine of their lives drives them into the discreet arms of someone else.

Discreet Affair

What makes an affair discreet? Most affairs are handled in secret, unless of course a couple has reached an arrangement or agreement with each other as to other relationships. What types of discreet affairs are available?

  • Strangers and Lovers-The classic one-night stand may turn into a full-blown affair if both parties are game.
  • Office Affairs-Unless your office is full of people who really do mind their own business, conducting a secret affair can be difficult to pull off.
  • Friends and Lovers-Turning a friend into a lover may easier to pull off. After all, you have an excuse to see this person since you are already friends. However, it can be tricky to hide your feelings from others who are around you.
  • Cyber Affairs-Is it really an affair if you never physically touch the other person? For those who've had partners who've indulged in an emotional Internet affair, the answer is often a resounding "Yes!" These affairs are certainly easier to keep discreet, as long as you know how to clear your Internet history and your computer isn't home to a tracking program that logs your online activity.

Is Discreet Really Possible?

Is it a good idea to have an affair? That depends on what your expectations are, and how you would handle your affair being discovered. For some, the expectations are simple-a little fun without the hassle of a commitment. For others, affairs that begin with a few flirtatious conversations may turn into an emotional rollercoaster of questions, including "What will the future hold?" Is there a safe way to have an affair? Not usually, since there are typically more parties involved than just you.

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The Lowdown on Discreet Affairs