Uh-oh! Looks like you've reached the infamous impasse in the relationship when you and your partner dance around the words "I love you" but never actually say it. And chances are, there's no way in heck you're going to spill the beans first! Fair enough. With a little finesse and a dash of psychology, there are ways to inspirit him to drop the L-bomb before you do.
1. Devalue the Word "Like" and Other L-Word Substitutes
"I really, really like you," your partner says as he stares deeply into your eyes. When this happens, playfully brush him off and say, "Oh? That's nice. I really, really like pepperoni pizza!" followed by a suggestive wink.
In this way, you're lightheartedly insinuating that "like" is a depthless word that should be reserved for one's favorite dishes, but not for profound, emotional expression. Hopefully, he'll get the hint and understand that you're encouraging him to use a word that's a bit more sentimental. Like, ahem, "love!"
2. Spectacular Sex Will Make Him Spill the Beans
An amazing romp in the sack will make any man howl "I love you!" at the top of his lungs. And we're not talking about what you usually do, no matter how good it is. We're talking mind-blowing, hair-raising, orgasmic sex, sending him up so high on cloud 9, that not only will he drop a few L-bombs, but he'll pledge to do more housework, agree to never keep the toilet seat up again, and promise to pay more attention to you during Sunday Night Football.
Yeah, that type of sex.
To offer some suggestions, consider tantra sex or even erotic board games to get things hot and heavy in the bedroom.
3. Self-Disclosure Leads to a Slip of the Lips
There's something disarming about someone who's transparent, candid, and openhearted, don't you agree? When someone we care about feels free to share intimate information with us, it encourages us to divulge our personal feelings as well. So in regards to galvanizing your man to say the L-word, share something new about yourself that will provide a broader, more panoramic view of who you are. Share your fears, worries, and past adversities.
You should also delve into conversations that will stimulate his intellect and tickle his brain. Over a glass of wine, stare into his eyes and ask what motivates him or what happiness means to him. Rummaging through the far corners of your partner's heart, mind, and soul will melt him into saying "I love you" sooner than you think.
4. Hypnotize Him While He Sleeps
Wait until the wee hours of the night, when your significant other is catching some Z's, and softly whisper repetitive phrases in his ears such as, "I will express my feelings to [insert your name]."
According to LiveScience, neuroscientists from Northwestern University in Chicago claim that humans can absorb new information while they sleep. Other researchers even claim that you can learn a new language while you snooze! So, while your lover dozes off, why not plant a little bug in his ear to motivate him to finally let the cat out of the bag?
5. Saturate His Subconscious With Sentimental Signs
Whenever he's with you, swamp his subconscious with stimuli that reminds him of love. Wear red often to stimulate his senses. In the background, frequently leave on films with "love" in its title, such as Love Actually, I Love You, Man, and Crazy, Stupid, Love. You should do the same with music.
When he asks you for a favor or suggests a date, respond with phrases that emphasize the L-word such as, "I would love to!" Take him to places that awaken his most nostalgic, warmest memories. When you cook for him, present a heart-shaped platter. And lastly, fulfill his unmet needs with affection. For example, consider having his favorite fast-food order waiting for him on the kitchen table after a long day of work and draw a heart on the bag.
These are all ways you can associate signs of love with yourself. Watch him blurt out the much anticipated "I love you" in no time!
6. Play a Clever Game of Pictionary
Who doesn't love Pictionary? It's a fun two-person game and you get to show off your awesome drawing skills as you help your partner guess a specific word or phrase. At some point in the middle of the game, it would be a clever idea to draw an eye, followed by a heart, and finally, a man pointing at another person.
Energized by the momentum of the game, watch him obliviously shout, "I love you!" Teasingly respond by saying "Haha! You said it first!"
If your partner is still tight-lipped after these tips, it's time to realize that he's keeping mum not because he's coy, but because he hasn't reached the emotional level where he feels comfortable saying "I love you" yet-and that's okay! Give him time. After all, it's always better to hear those three magical words when it's the most sincere.