LoveToKnow Dating:AllComments

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Comments

Hi Leonie,

You are absolutely correct - your problems lie in communication not the problem itself. Unfortunately, you can't make him open up to you. He needs to do it on his own terms. Usually, people will open up as they feel more secure in a relationship. However, your boyfriend seems to keep things private no matter how secure he feels or he may have trust issues, which has resulted in him not trusting anyone. You can try counseling, but chances are he will remain tight lipped. The thing with this situation is that if he is not willing to change or improve the communication in the relationship, there will be no movement, which could ultimately end the relationship. Talk to him about how you feel, see about counseling but if you can't seem to move him, you'll have to consider how happy you are in the relationship and whether you want it to continue. Good luck.

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

My bf and I have stupid fights and we normally get over them and end up fine for a while then all of a sudden it happens again. Its been like this for 4 years. I don't think we even escalate the fights because of the problem itself. I believe the problem is not in the argument but in the way we communicate. I've tried different ways but he doesn't like to tell me y he gets upset. He just pushes me away. I've given him space or I've pushed him to tell me how he feels and he never does. Im considering counseling but how can we get counseling if he doesn't even open up? P.s. He doesn't talk to his friends either bout how he feels. If im the closest one to him and he's most open with me, how can I get him to open anymore? Im frustrated please help

-- Contributed by: leonie

Jeffery,

Explain to her that you were just trying to protect her and don't want to see her upset. If she is unable to accept or appreciate that, she may not be the right girl for you right now.

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

i got into dis relationship with dis girl dat just broke up with her former boyfriend and i luv her but i'm not sure she does in turn, but soething happened recently and i am not very happy about it, well i saw her talking to dis guy and it seemed dat she was been disturbed, and i am a guy dat does not rellymind if she talks to guys but datdey i kind of went protective and went to talk to d guy but later on i got to find out dat she was having problems with dis guy and she had just solved d problem and alsodis gy is her neigbour, so wen she heard wat i did she got angry and has not talked to me since den. pls i luv her very much and i wouldn't do anything to hurt her, so pls i need advice from any body, plsssssssssss....

-- Contributed by: Jeffery Orama

Alison,

You may be losing interest in your boyfriend. You and he have probably changed since you first started dating and now you may be looking for something more out of someone. You also may see your friends going out and having a good time, which is something you can't take part in and that makes you feel bad. It's more complicated since you have a child together, you will just have to think long and hard about how important it is to you to date other guys as opposed to staying with your boyfriend and father of your daughter.

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

me and my boyfriend have been together for going on 5 years now and i am not even 21 yet! latley i have been feeling really distant maybe bored i really have no idea what i am feeling. i love him so much and everyone of my friends tells me that i wont ever find someone like him and he would do anything for me and our 15 month old daughter. i dont know if it is cause i am young and in a very commited relationship or what i really have no idea why i feel like this. so latley i have been chatting online with other guys and it makes me want to be single! is what i am feeling normal? i feel like when we kiss there just isnt that spark anymore. he doesnt touch my body like he usto and i know its not cause i had a baby because i am smaller now then before i had my daughter. please help

-- Contributed by: alison

Mr. Caviness,

Losing someone you love can be devastating. It will take time to get over the feelings you have for your ex-girlfriend but with time, you will be able to move on and find someone who will stick by you and love you for the person you are. Good luck to you...

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

Hey!!!!

My girlfriend and i have been together for 10 months now and every since her parents found out about me they have been trying to break us up. So the other day i came home and she tells me that her parents said they would pay for her to get an apartment if she left me and she turned around and told them yes so now iam thinking that i wasted my time putting my heart into this relationship for it to end like this. O.k. now i understand about the security issue because i have a bad criminal record but iam trying to turn my life around. But she proceeds to tell me its because she dont feel like she is helping me out but instead of trying to help me out she would go into work early. My thing is if you truelly love someone arent you supposed to do whatever it takes to help that person. Please Help me out iam tired of hurting.

-- Contributed by: Mr.Caviness

Donald, All you can do is trust her until you know for sure if she is cheating. Let her know that you are concerned about her calling her classmate rather than talking to you.

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

i have a problem with my girlfreind, we have been dating for 2 years now an we have 6 months son the problem is she calls his class mate more than me, i think there is something going on there. i asked her an she said she not cheatin, what can i do

-- Contributed by: donald

Hauwa,

You don't really know until you give it time. Spend time with him, learn about his values, open your heart and see what happens.

-- Contributed by: Debbie Vasen

Hello, pls will lik u to comment on my issue. i am a 23 yr old girl and i v neva bin in a relationship.i v met several people bt ws neva ready for a commitment with anyone so i kept chasing them off me.recently i decided to give it a try cos i ws nt getting younger.i met this guy 1 year ago bt we were just friends.1month ago he finally asked me to go out with him and i accepted even if i dnt really knw him. this guy liks me so mcuh bt i lik him too even if its nt as much as he.i recently decovered dat he is 34yrs old.he is also a lecturer. my problem are this two things,pls hw do i knw if he is mearnt for me cos he really thinks am Gods gift to him.hw do i knw he really loves me and if he is wat God has planned for me cos i dnt wnt to make a mistake.thanks

-- Contributed by: Hauwa

Me and my girl friend were in a relationship for last 3yrs. I was not able to be fully dedicated in the relationship(because our cast was not same. In our country we still have conflict in caste), but she WAS confident in our Love(as per my understanding with her.). i was fully confident that she loves me more than her life. we started to have disputes in small small things since last two months. Then, i thought that she might not want to be in relationship any more. So, i started the conversation about having breakup(i only wanted to know what she feel), she did agreed on it. then we decided to breakup. we were still having daily conversation on the phone and we also went for lunch together. The vibes those days were really nice and i started to dream about a happy family with her. But, two weeks earlier, she came to my place and told that a guy proposed him for marriage and she agreed. I was so much shocked, tears started to fall from my eyes and believe it, i was so shocked that how could she take such a decision with out even telling me once..Then i talked with my family about it and they were convinced. when i asked her to marry me, she turned her back. i did every possible thing to get her back but i couldn't. I even wrote a letter from my blood.. But it went on vain. She says that the new guy commited every thing which i was not able to during our relationship. I requested her to think once again and to give me a chance. Now she doesn't want to talk to me and even see me..She says not to even call her again. I don't know how could she be so harsh as i know how much she loves me.

Now i am insane.. i had a conversation with her today at lunch( i waited at restaurant where she comes for lunch). she has completely changed and i saw no feelings for me any more in her eyes.. But i still Love her..I think she took the decision in irritation and anger..i might be wrong..but

Please suggest me what to do..

-- Contributed by: N

D, your head may know your boyfriend is the one, but until your heart knows it as well, you won't be comfortable marrying him. If you haven't already, talk about it with each other. It could be you have some fears about marriage or marrying him that need to be brought out into the open. You could also look at attending pre-marital counseling at a church or with a counselor. You don't need to be engaged for this type of counseling.

-- Contributed by: Rick Fulks

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 1/2 years and ever since about four months into the relationship he has wanted to get engaged. I keep turning him down, but it has nothing to do with him. I know he is the one and I have no doubt about that. I guess maybe there is a fear there or change or something, I don't know, but for some reason I just keep putting him off and hoping he won't bring it up again for a while. However; I know it's not fair to him to keep doing this, so how do I know what to do and if I am ready?

-- Contributed by: D

For all of the readers who have placed comments, you have made the first step to healing your relationship by coming here. Congratulations! Now, the next step is to find a good local relationship counselor. The best way to do this is to ask around. Doctors, neighbors, priests, friends are all good places to ask for referrals.

-- Contributed by: Debbie Vasen

Hi,

I am looking to seek some relationship advice to iron out some issues with my girlfriend.So looking for recommendation. I live in Mountain view,CA . Phone will be my preferred way communication.

Let me know thanks UN

-- Contributed by: Om

i been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and things have been going down hill for us big time we fight.he tries to control me and verbaly,mentally and some physcally abrouses me as i do same with him only to defend myself.i left him once but forgave him and took him back i'mjust tired of the fighting and him trying to control me. and just over x mas we got enaggedbut there is some trust issiues,exspecailly with me he has lie and cheated on me before. but now i'm scared to leave and scared to stay.

-- Contributed by: RJK

hi my name is daniela and my boyfriend and i have been together for about 20 months we have 1 child already and one on the way. my boyfriend has been physically violent on one occassion and was in recognition of what he had done wrong and never did it again although verbally we were still arguing and started to become an everyday thing to a point i needed to get out i went to go stay at a shelter and hes now admitting to his wrongs and wants us to get help together. the only thing i fear is if we do work things out and have a fresh start for the future and manage to become a family again, will cps come and take my children? and in order for them not to wut steps are we needing to take to insure that are home is safe both for us and the kids?

-- Contributed by: daniela

Hi my name is joei have been dating this girl for more than 3 years but am not being able to manage this relation well i become to obsessive and posessive about herand suspicious of small small things and start doubting that she has been sleeping around etc tough i have no clue why i am doing this coz i havent heard it and havent seen it i am imagining things but even her behaviour owards men is strange what should i do?i feel guilty about the relationship that if i leave her she will get lots of problems to face etc dont know how to begin and where to start we have constant useless fights we r not married at the moment.what is happening??

-- Contributed by: joe

I would like to recieve a counceling session with my boyfriend and I we are really having some issues right now and he just does not know how bad our relationship is getting.

-- Contributed by: MITIYA
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