LoveToKnow Dating:AllComments

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Hi Shyanne,

Respect his wishes and understand that he is not comfortable with kissing in public. If you push him to do something he doesn't want to do, you may end up pushing him away forever.

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 1 month now and we are going to kiss for the frist time in five days. H does not want to kiss in public. how can i help him get over it?

-- Contributed by: Shyanne

Hi Julia,

From reading your comment, it sounds like you love that he loves you but you may not have that same love for him. On paper, he sounds like the perfect guy for you, however, like you said, there is something missing. Should you feel butterflies after 3 years? Some people feel butterflies and passion for a long time while others feel it only for a short time. What is left behind is what keeps the relationship going. You love him, that is obvious, but do you love him enough to want to spend the rest of your life with him? That will answer your question on what you should do...

To answer your questions about "the one". Everyone has faults, what you need to decide is if you are able to deal with the faults and accept them. If you have issues with the faults, you will have issues with him later on. Your other question about if everything should fall into place, relationships take work. Of course you shouldn't force love if it's not there, but if you are waiting for someone perfect for the perfect relationship, that may never happen. Basically, the "one" is someone you love no matter what...faults and all. Good luck!

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

I (27 yoa) have been dating the man (27 yoa) I am currently with for approximately three years. We met on an online dating service. We exchanged several lengthy emails to try to get to know each other, before meeting. At the beginning of our relationship, when we would go on dates, he was always very shy and quiet to the point where he would slouch over. After telling him that I wasn't into shy guys, he eventually became less shy, fearing that I would break up with him. I was his first girlfriend so he had to be told many things (meeting his parents, inviting me over for special occasions, leaving me to spend time with his twin brother, calling me only after his favorite TV shows). Since the first year of our relationship, he has become much more confident and will invite me to everything. He has fallen completely in love with me and always works at making me happy. He always wants to communicate things through if we don't see eye to eye and is willing to change as he sees change as growth. For the past year, I have been having doubts that he is not the man for me. I have these doubts because it seems that I have changed so much about him. When you find the one, shouldn't' everything fall into place? Shouldnt you overlook someones faults because you are so in love? Should you feel butterflies in your chest even after 3 years of dating? Also, I feel that he is not as ambitious as I am. He seems very compliant with his 9-5 job and never talks about doing anything else on the side. I feel in my heart that perhaps there is someone else out there for me. Then I start to think that he is the man for me since he is so incredibly sweet and respectful, we share the same values and morals (this is very important to me) and we want the same things in life. Im in a dilemma because this man will do absolutely anything for me and I am very physically attracted to him but I keep having doubts. The thought of not having him in my life brings tears to my eyes because he has such a gentle soul.

-- Contributed by: Julia
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