LoveToKnow Dating:AllComments

From LoveToKnow Dating

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Hi Mike,

If you haven't given her a reason for her to not trust you, then there's not much you can do about her trust issues. It's something she is going to have to work on if she wants to continue being in a relationship with you. Your ex-wife is in your life because of your kids and that isn't ever going to change. It's up to your girlfriend whether she will ever be able to deal with it...if not, your relationship will not be able to move forward.

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

Girlfriend thinks boyfriend still loves ex wife. I don't know what to do? I have 2 step children that I keep contact with every so often. Ages 21 & 23. I don't love ex-wife but finds myself acting weird when meeting ex-wife by accident with new girl friend. Or slipping up and said wife when explaining position about ex-wife kids and how ex-wife treats her kids, to girlfriend. I was married for 10 years total and been divorce for 4 years. Since the divorce I had 3 different girlfriends before meeting the current girlfriend. I have been seeing my girlfriend for over a year. I do not know what to do? I love her and she loves me (for how long?).She has no trust in me and she thinks that I still love ex-wife. It is sad that an awesome relationship went down the tube over a bad ex-wife that I have little contact with. Any suggestion on how to repair this mess?

-- Contributed by: Mike

Tammy, after an abusive relationship, it is not unusual to have trouble with a normal relationship. Counseling for both of you might allow you to work out not only your individual issues, but to improve how the two of you communicate with each other.

-- Contributed by: HVLong

I am 32 years old with two child ages 11 and 13 i was in a very abusive marriage after ending my marriage i have had trouble dealing with almost everything mind me i will be seekign councelling again. I since found teh most wonderful man he treats me like gold most of the time. I have been treating him like crap and i am just starting to notice it now. He said that he put a guard up he is sick of crying i am having trouble showing him i love himm because he is acting really mean more distant than anything. He does love me alot he tells me that but he feels i do not show him i feel i am trying my best, what is love? how do u show someone you love them?

-- Contributed by: Tammy

Amanda,

Sounds like your friend is controlling and that could be a sign of trouble in the future (as in domestic violence). If possible, separate yourself from him and find someone who will want to commit to you and treat you the way you should be treating. If you are unable to get away from him due to fear of abuse, please read this article: Teen Dating Violence

It has some great information and advice for all ages. Good luck to you!

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

I am in a relationship where this guy is only wanting to be friends and have it be friends with benifits and he is not treating me well he is bossy about things like the coffee i drink when to do laundry and he don't ask he demands it and the other thing is he tells me i have to watch his kid and does not ask i hate that please help

-- Contributed by: Amanda

Melissa,

Getting married is a nerve-wrecking time. You are scared about the future but excited about spending your life with someone you love. It's understandable that you are nervous about what happens with your fiance's bachelor party. Trust is a big thing in a relationship so if you do trust him (even with his boys) you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If he has never given you any reason for you not to trust him and you think your feelings stem from your past relationship, you may need to work on those trust issues before making the next step towards marriage.

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

Sam,

Long distance relationship do last if you want to make it work. Please read the following articles on long distance relationships:

Long Distance Relationships

Long Distance Love

Long Distance Relationship Advice

-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardy

long story cut short .. :(

i live in england and in about july i met up with this amazin girl called debbie and she livs in italy :/ i met her through a friend because she used to live in england. Iv been talkin to her for a while and wev grown a really strong bond and like each other alot, well i say like :( like is such a puny word. I mean Love. I love her alot and she feels the same way but im not sure of enyway we can be together because of the huge distance. shes comeing over in december to meet me, but i dno whether to meet her because it'd be to hard to say goodbye (U).

I love her but what can i do ?

-- Contributed by: sam nuttall

im engaged to married in 3 weeks and my fiance is having a bachelor party and staying overnight in a hotel with "the Boys". I am really having a hard time with happening. Do I trust him, yes, but to a certain extent. I dont however trust what the guys could make him do. He has been very harsh about his comments made to me, example, he doesnt want to discuss the party after it happens. When I told him that I didnt think he cared about my feelings and how much this is hurting me, he said no. Today, he said to me in a heated argument, that I was going to push his buttons and make him cancel the wedding. Our relationship has been great until we got engaged. He is very tight with his money and we are paying for our wedding ourselves, so he is always in a bad mood when he writes a check. Understandable, i guess so. But his attitude towards me, not understandable. we have been together 2 years. I am very affectionate, and he wasnt raised that way. He also believes that once you get in the "comfort zone", you dont have to be that way anymore. I have been married before which ended because my husband cheated. I dont want to waste my time if this one isnt the right one. I used to think so, but im having my doubts or is it cold feet?

-- Contributed by: melissa436

For all of you with these great relationship advice questions, I recommend you visit our Ask the Dating Coach. She will answer many of these questions online.

-- Contributed by: Debbie Vasen

Hi my man's guy friend is always around I mean 24/7 I expressed my feelings how it bothers me and I want one day were there's just me and him and I haven't received it yet and now it's affecting our relationship we are fighting all the time now I need help

-- Contributed by: Jennifer

ok so there is this guy and he has a gilfriend no abut we were together at one point and after him and i broke up i went out with his friend and now he wont talk to me the same or even consider getting back together with me even thought he has told me that he has alot of feelings for me still nd i strill love him what should i do?

-- Contributed by: alissa

Hi, im 25 and my girlfriend is 23, im an only child and taugh myself alot of things so far in life whilst my girlfriend, has ALWAYS been closely with family and lived a "sheltered" life i don't think she knows how to love herself and that hurts me because, she is a really great person. i love her so much and want to marry her one day but, i don't want to "build a house with an unstable foundation" now we,re living together and, she doesnt even know what to do with herself if we,re not together. she gets sad if i were to go to a friends house, if only for a few hours. We've finally gotten to where she will not call me incessantly until we see each other again. But, i don't really care about that, im more concerned about her. Bottom line, she doesnt really know what to do, i took her on her first date ever, this valentines day that recently passed was the 1st one she ever had a valentine.....EVER. Like i said, i DO most definitely want to be with her but, i know there are some things that can be done to hopefully assist with some of the issues of our relationship. She looks to me for advice on what to do and, i dont want this to turn into an "fixer upper" relationship where im trying to mold her or anything like that, her opinion is valued and, im well aware that the "perfect person" does not exist, there are those who you can interact with on a daily basis and accept their faults and those whose faults or indifferences you cannot deal with. I just want her to learn to love herself as much as i love her and, i know at this point, she does not......please help me.

-- Contributed by: Robert

I've met my girlfriend about year and a half ago and we just hit it off. After about three months, I got really tired of her control over me, cuz she always wanted to know where i am, and who i'm with. Considering myself as a "free bird" I decided to end it. It completely broke her heart and she suffered for such a long time. We still stayed friends, and mostly we would meet up to have oral sex. Then, last October we ended up together and I just fell in love with her, and i've never been happier in my life. We talked about getting married (I even took her virginity), and she would always be the one initiating those kind of conversations and seem so happy about it. She writes my name everywhere, she has my pictures basicaly everywhere, and she doesn't hang out with other boys (not that I know of) and she's very jelaous of me if she sees that one of my friends (girls) texts me. Plus she asked me to stop using pot, which I did. But lately, I've been getting these really weird feelings of jealousy and as days go by, it's worse and worse. Either I have been reading too many stories online, or watched too many movies, but I feel like that after some time she'll just get bored of me and cheat on me, be it with somebody either at her work or school, or whatever, and that would just break my heart into pieces. I am a loyal guy, and i always try to keep our relationship interesting, we always do different stuff, i never want to settle into a routine, where she would get bored, plus, our sex life is great and i take care of her a lot and she has nice set of family and religious morals, but you don't need alot to persuade her to do something. So, what should i do? I talked to her about it and she told me i was crazy for thinking like that, but even after that talk i feel uneasy. What should I do? Please, help me.

-- Contributed by: eddie

I don't know anymore if I should stay in this marriage, been married for 4 year, live together for 10 years, we had family conflicts, he has a 36 yrs old daughter that never wanted to be a part of the family, but she runs the family bussiness and keep there the ex-brother in law of mine, she married him and the mistress without taking in cosideration my feelings I resented that very much because my sister was the victim of abused husband (which he still works there) that has caused to many problems in our marriage and will not talk about the issue itall.

-- Contributed by: GLORIA

I've dealing with a man for almost 10 years and i am at the point in my life where i think i just want to be done with the whole relationhip. The reason I say I think is because i don't know if I'm feeling this way because I'm not employed and have to depend on him and this in not something i comfortable doing. I not even sure i still love this person any more i have 2 girls who do and this also makes the decision alot harder. Can anyone tell me to start

-- Contributed by: confused

I have a problem, I am 31 years old and have been dating on and off for about 4 years. I have had 2 long (4 and 6 year) relationships but am having a real hard time letting my guard down for anyone new. I have done some things in my past that are very taboo in today's society but that was over 10 years ago. My problem is, one could find this information and leave me for it - I've had it happen! A guy I was really into and he seemed into me, found out about my past and left after calling me a few choice names. I guess my question is, can't I leave my past in the past? I have developed into a much more respectful, responsible and independant woman, I feel I have so much good to offer! I believe that any mistakes that a person has made in the past makes you into the person you are, good and bad! So, if I meet a man and he likes me just as I am - why should he judge me on something I did as a young kid? Is there any getting over this?

-- Contributed by: DDR

Diane, thanks for the question. I'm really sorry to hear that your relationship with this man hasn't worked out the way you would like. I agree that he is using you. If he was really serious about the relationship he wouldn't treat you like this. You and your kids deserve so much more. Before you will be ready to love another man you need to first get over this guy. I suggest not seeing or talking to him for a while and then start trying to find someone else to date. You could stay friends with him, but part of you may keep hoping for a love that he will likely never give you. I hope you are able to quickly find someone that is excited about you and your kids.

-- Contributed by: Rick Fulks

Hello, I'm dealing with a man for 8 years, who basically somes in and out of my life. I'm in love with him so much. He's always came in my life and would say, I don't want to be your man because I'm not ready to date but, then will start dating someone. he wants to be my friend, but i cant because it som much betrayal in our relationship. He's told his friends that he wasn't dating me and the whole time he was. And then he say's he didn't say those mean thangs. What do you thank thereason is for him avoiding me t he way he does. He supports me and my kids but he has never act like he loved me. It hurts so bad cause i want to leave him alone but its hard. I thank he is using me!!

-- Contributed by: Diane
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