Divorced and dating

I am recently divorced and have two kids. I am trying to get back in the dating scene and not sure exactly what do to. I worry that dating would be bad for my kids, but I hate being alone—especially the weekends they are at their dads. Any tips on divorced dating with kids?

Starting over after a divorce is hard enough, but when there are kids involved it can seem at time impossible. Although you are not currently dating, it is still a good time to think about what rules you’ll have for yourself regarding where a date will meet you, when a potential love interest will meet you kids and how you will explain dating to your kids. Think of these as your guiding principles.

As for where to begin meeting new people the answer depends on your comfort level. If you are ready to start dating, you can check out online dating sites and think about getting a group of friends together to go to social places to meet new people. If on the other hand you would like to start a little slower,I recommend getting involved in social networking. Many nonprofits hold fundraising activities as well as need people to volunteer at functions. Look at programs where you have a natual interest. You can check out the organizations website for a list of upcoming activities or check out the fundraising committee if you’re interested in becoming a volunteer. Another great place to meet other singles is within your religious or spiritual congregation. Trust me singles are everywhere, you just need to look around and smile.

As someone who went through the divorce/dating with kids cycle, I second the advice: do what you’re interested in, be yourself, and you will attract the right people.

The alternative - trying to make yourself different, through action or appearance or whatever, is just going to take up a lot of your time & energy and even if it does attract someone, odds are they won’t be a genuine fit. I don’t say this to preach - I say this as someone who assumed that I’d never meet another woman who’d want to date a single guy with kids. I was right, when I was worried about it - but when I gave up, started doing social activities with my kids, suddenly I was Mr. Popular. Years later, I’m very happily involved with another divorcee, who has a son, and has found the same thing to be the case.

“To thine own self be true.” Best advice ever.