confused and looking for answers

i am a confused bisexual and searching for advice.

my name is charlene and i am 21 years old..ive been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 8 months. even though things progressed a little fast between us it all went well. i find her very attractive in every way possible. i come from a puertorican family where tradition and family is very important..ever since i was little i envisioned myself and so did my family getting married and having kids and having a dream wedding. i love this girl so much but i feel like im disapointing everybody in my family if i do have a future with her. i am very happy with her but lately i find myself falling out of the passionate in love feeling i once had and i hate it. i dont wanna feel this way. i know she sthe one for me i just dont know how i can let go of the traditional dream life i have grown up with and start anew with her. please help!

Hello!

I just responded to your comment in the My First Lesbian Relationship article but in case you miss it, I am putting it here too.

It sounds like you are letting the disappointment of others change your feelings for your girlfriend. If you allow your family’s ideals about your life interfere with your happiness now, you may end up unhappy later in life. Look deep within yourself and question your faltering feelings towards your girlfriend…is it truly because you are losing interest or is it because you feel guilty for disappointing your family?

I would also like to add that you are still young and have a lot of time to figure life out. If your girlfriend makes you happy now, you can stick with it to see what comes of it. If things work out, you’ll know you made the right choice. If things don’t work out, you will know that it wasn’t others who were to blame for the end of the relationship and won’t have any regrets of what might have been…

I certainly agree with everything that Marce said, and would add another thing - remember that the intense, romantic, “New Relationship Energy” is actually a chemical reaction in your body, and that initial wild passion doesn’t last forever.

That’s ok, because it’s what lets you replace it with a solid, committed and loving relationship. And there will be times when that passion will come back, and practically overwhelm you. Just don’t mistake the ebb of the body’s chemical reaction - something that happens naturally - for an end of love. It just means the relationship has lasted through “ignition” and is now ready for a longer, slow, steady burn.

Good luck to you, and I commend you for your bravery in following your heart.

So true Gray!

Just wanted to check on you Charlene to see how things are going. Hope you were able to revisit the forum to read our responses and that you have have found peace in a decision.