Do You Need a Dating Coach?

Michele Meleen
Unsuccessful Blind Date

While dating can be a fun, carefree experience, it can sometimes feel like a full-time job. If you think of dating more as a job, you might benefit from a dating coach. Unlike matchmakers and dating services, a dating coach focuses on self-development and can help change your outlook and approach to relationships.

Eight Signs You Need a Dating Coach

In the world of dating, there are few circumstances unique to a single individual. Most people experience anxiety and doubt about their appearance, ability to choose good mates, and relationship skills. If you're unsure how a dating coach could be helpful, consider whether or not the following signs pertain to you.

You Have Too Little Time

Are you working 60 hours a week, busy running your kids to extracurriculars every weekend, or fumbling with a full calendar because you can't say 'no'? If you answered yes to any of these scenarios, you probably don't have enough time to think about dating let alone actually do it. For many singles in these situations, online dating can seem like the only option. However, a dating coach can function much like a life coach and may be able to help you figure out how to better balance work, home and romance.

Unclear Vision of Your Future

Some people are highly organized and detail-oriented, planning their lives five or even ten years down the road. These types of people have a clear idea of how they hope to see life play out. On the other hand, there are many people who have no clue what they are truly seeking in a romantic relationship. To better determine if your vision of the future is defined or blurry, ask yourself the following questions:

  • What are my views on marriage?
  • Are children a necessary part of my future?
  • Am I open to different kinds of romantic relationships, such as plural love or less traditional gender roles?
  • What traits have I enjoyed in past partners?

If you are having trouble answering most of these questions, a dating coach could be your most helpful resource. Dating coach Evan Mark Katz suggests part of his job is to help singles gain a "greater sense of self-awareness." Knowing what you are looking for in a romantic relationship can help you better choose who to date, as well as help you know whether a first date should turn into a second.

Your Online Profile Is a Dud

According to the Pew Research Center, approximately 15 percent of adults in the United States have used some form of online dating. One out of every five online daters have enlisted help when it comes to profile creation. While your best friend or your sister may know you well or be the self-proclaimed, 'Queen of Online Dating,' she may not be your best resource when it comes to creating your profile.

A dating coach can help you create an online profile that showcases your strengths in a way that reads well to the opposite sex. Not only will your dating coach come to understand your strengths, but he will also know what the opposite sex is likely to respond to.

Shy and Awkward Sum Up Your Social Skills

Embarrassed Girl in Theater

If you're an introvert or someone who is prone to anxiety, dating can seem impossible. A dating coach can help you if you have trouble with the following skills:

  • Holding a conversation
  • Making small talk
  • Calming your nerves on a date
  • Choosing date activities
  • Giving your undivided attention to a new date

Through individualized training, a dating coach can help you pinpoint weaknesses and overcome them. General dating advice may not always pertain to your specific needs whereas a dating coach will work with you to build your confidence and relationship skills.

The Opposite Sex Confuses You

You've heard of the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and you can't help thinking it must be true. If you can't see why men wait so long to call or forget it's your three-month first phone call anniversary, a dating coach could be right for you. Men and women do often seem to speak different languages which can present many problems in a relationship. While a dating coach can't change the way men think, he can help you better understand a man's thought process.

Your Self-Esteem Could Use a Boost

Whether focused on your internal or external appearance, low self-esteem is a major turnoff for most singles. Low self-esteem can interfere with your dating life by:

  • Causing you to feel undesirable
  • Make you try to hide your appearance out of shame
  • Having the inability to communicate effectively
  • Being unwilling to participate in new activities

While you can build confidence by yourself, it may be more helpful to enlist some outside help. The goal of a dating coach is not to find you a husband but to "develop you as a person and make you more attractive."

You've Never Had a Long-Term Relationship

Some people seem to be built for long-term relationships, while others flutter quickly from partner to partner. There are many reasons why people are unable to maintain romantic relationships over long periods:

  • Fear of commitment
  • Intimacy issues
  • Inability to give relationships the time and attention they need
  • Choosing incompatible mates
  • Trust issues

Whether your "picker" is off or you've been hurt too many times before, a dating coach can help identify why your relationships are stuck in the short-term range. Once those obstacles have been determined, the coach can help you work through problem areas.

You've Found a Match and Want to Keep Him

Have you found a partner who fits all your relationship needs and desires? Are you worried about your ability to make the relationship last? If you answered "yes" to these questions, a dating coach can help. Much like a counselor, a dating coach focuses on finding your strengths and exploiting them. Whether you need a little boost of confidence or some tips for keeping the romance alive, a dating coach can help you feel secure about your relationship skills in the short-term and long-term stages.

Put Your Best Foot Forward

Dating is all about showing off who you are in small steps. If you have trouble presenting your best self in dating scenarios, a dating coach could help hone your skills.

Do You Need a Dating Coach?