Jealousy Over Your Partner’s Ex

by LoriGorshow on November 02, 2009

Recently Mr. Cool and I went to the boat show. On the way back home we engaged in a conversation with another couple about the merits of owning a boat. I mentioned that it was better to know someone who owned a boat then to own a boat yourself. Mr. Cool responded by saying, “I am the one that told you that.” Before I could comment, Mr. Cool went on to say that a friend had said that to him once. I looked at Mr. Cool and knew immediately that this ‘friend’ was a woman and not just any female, but one he used to like. Instantly I felt jealousy for this unknown ex.

Look, I know that not every one of my partner’s previous relationship failed because the woman was weird or boring. Some of them ended because she found him boring or not her type. These are the ones that trigger my insecurities. I want to believe that none of the women from his past can compare to me.  While I may want Mr. Cool to tell me the truth about his past, I want it to be my truth. He knows this about me. So if I ask him questions, am I setting him up to lie to me or to downplay the importance of any previous relationship? 

Being jealous of your partner’s ex’s really throws a kink in things and encourages dishonesty and fosters distrust. The truth is there are some women your partner may be attracted to, but that doesn’t mean he would act on his thoughts.  You’re his partner, the one he chose to be with. Trust him enough to not betray your faith him. So let him to eat a meal with a female friend or coworker and have a little faith.

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