Her Sex Drive Is Higher Than His

by LoriGorshow on October 27, 2009

In my previous blog post, I spoke frankly about a relationship I was in where the sex started out strong and then diminished over a short period of time. I took my partner’s lack of interest personally. In this post I want to talk about how I rationalized and ultimately endured the situation.

I thought maybe something was wrong with me. I didn’t get this idea on my own; my partner planted some of those seeds. He explained that my questioning him made him feel even more pressured and that was a turn off for him. Although that was not my intent it didn’t help our relationship. I then tried to not mention the lack of sex thinking that maybe his desire would increase. But when that didn’t work, I found my frustrations started to come out in other ways.

Anger became my communication style. I realize this in hindsight and not at the time. At the time I was looking for validation, desire, attraction and interest. I used a passive-aggressive style to get attention and my needs met to no avail. Instead of getting my partner riled up, he pulled away from me even further. I started to hold my emotions inside. As time went on I began to consider whether sex was really all that important. I told myself that having a partner that was caring, dependable, reliable was more important. This went on for many years until I had to admit that something was missing.

In my next piece I will talk about the painful decision to end the relationship. Now I would love to hear from you. Have you ever been in a relationship where you tolerated and even accepted things even though things were not as you would’ve liked them to be?

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