Breaking Up Over Lack Of Sex

by LoriGorshow on October 29, 2009

I was two months away from graduation when I came to the conclusion I could no longer ignore the lack of sexual intimacy in my own relationship. The truth was I had been thinking about this for a long time, but the impetus to take action was mounting. There were other factors contributing to my unhappiness. One was that I literally was experiencing a sexual drive I had not known before. The second thing was that part of my education included the study of human behavior and couple relationships. And three, I wasn’t willing to ignore my unhappiness when I knew things could be better. 

It’s one thing to know all this intellectually, it’s quite another to put it in to action. In my contemplation of what to do and how to do it, I asked myself if I thought my partner still had the qualities and characteristic which were important to me. I wondered if I had the right to be unhappy just because we weren’t having sex. The answer was, yes on both counts.  Still, I afraid to talk to my partner about our lack of intimacy. I was afraid of what he would say. 

Then one day I just did it. I spoke up and asked for what I wanted, a physically and emotionally close relationship.  I told him that it was unacceptable for me to continue to live like I had been, I wanted something better. A short time later I learned that he wasn’t willing to give me what I wanted from him.

What made the difference? I knew I was willing to live with the consequences of my choice. I was unwilling to ignore the fact that I had a choice.

Have you ever ended a relationship because you were unwilling to settle?

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