Why Do Men Lie About Cheating
From LoveToKnow Dating
You suspect or know for sure the man in your life is unfaithful but he continues to deny it, now you are searching the Internet to understand; why do men lie about cheating?
Where Does Cheating Begin?
Before uncovering the reasons behind the question, why do men lie about cheating, we need to understand where it starts. They either look for temptation or fall into it. In either case, they fall into the thrill, deception, and guilt of infidelity. However, where does it all begin; where do men find the people they cheat on with their significant others? Here are some places where most men find their affairs.
- Work
This is one of the most common places where affairs begin. People spend most of their weeks at work, which leads to accessibility and availability.
- Gym
Many women seek out men in the gym because they are attracted to men who work out. This means that your guy is being stared at and tempted.
- Party
Alcohol or drug use lowers inhibitions and affects their ability to make the right decision. Men who go out partying and become intoxicated are much more likely to cheat under the influence.
- Internet
The Internet has made it possible for many men to have an affair. There is a whole world of people to meet online. If the woman lives in the surrounding area, the man might meet the woman in a hotel or if she doesn't live close by they continue their affair online.
Types of Cheating
There is a great deal of debate about the different types of cheating. The debate arises when people question whether infidelity has occurred with people who are just having an emotional or spiritual connection with someone.
Physical
Most people agree that infidelity occurs when you have sexual intercourse with someone else besides your mate. Cheating has also occurred when someone kisses or engages in other physical interaction with someone other than his or her significant other.
Emotional
Some people do not consider emotional cheating as wrong. When someone enjoys discussing issues, thoughts, and feelings with someone, they view it as being friends. However, sometimes this crosses the line and your partner is turning to this person for much more than just a friend to talk to. Your partner becomes emotionally attached to the person. This an affair, especially if the cheater is taking time away from his or her significant other just to spend more time with the new person.
Understanding Why Men Lie About Cheating
- Best of both worlds
They have the ability to have a stable home life with their wife or girlfriend. They also get to have the thrill and the risk of seeing someone else. These men lie because they feel empowered when they get away with it.
- Shame
Even though they don't tell the truth they still feel ashamed of their actions. They are not proud of themselves for doing it but they can't resist temptation.
- Positive role model
If children are involved, he may not want to uncover his deceitfulness because he fears that his children will find out. These men care what their children think and do not want to set a bad example.
- Fear of rejection
These men lie because they don't want to be considered an outcast or they do not want neighbors and friends to think badly of them.
- Denial
As mentioned above, some men who are only having an emotional or spiritual connection with someone do not believe they are cheating.
- Regret
Some will not tell the truth because they regret what they have done and plan not to do it again.
- Risk of losing job
Some will not fess up to their infidelity because of the fear they will lose their job.
What to do About the Deception
- Confront
If you have proof, bring it to the attention of your significant other. Do not give your guy a chance to find excuses for his actions.
- Discuss the situation
Try to discuss the reasons behind the affair.
- Seek counseling
See if there is any chance for a saved relationship. Many couples do recover when an affair happens. However, it takes a lot of work.
- Decide what to do about the relationship
If you do not feel that you can let go of the affair, it may be time to end the relationship..
Learn More
Comments
Very confused in love,
First off, you need to end your relationship with your boyfriend. You aren't doing him or yourself any good staying with him and sleeping with other men. If you cannot afford to leave him, you may want to look over your finances, look into getting a place to live with a roommate and make any other changes in your life that will make it possible for you to break up with your current boyfriend.
As for the first man you had sex with, it sounds as though he was just looking for some fun and not a relationship. If you want to see him again and want it to be casual, wait until he contacts you now.
As for your ex -- if you are sleeping with him when you meet up than that is probably all that he is really concerned about right now. If you want to pursue a relationship with him, you will need to tell him that and stop sleeping with him. If you aren't having sex with him, it's time to sit him down and ask him what his intentions are for calling you all the time (whether as a friend or wanting to start dating you again).
Treat yourself well and good luck to you.
-- Contributed by: Marcelina HardyIm living with my bf right now but he doesn't excite me anymore! want to leave him but i can not afford being alone financially!i end up cheating on him. I met a guy, we slept together for the first date i was really attractive to him. he told me that he likes me a lot. so we went out again he brought me to his house in had sex he even gave me a nice victoria secret gift. now i felt closer to him. all i can think is him i think Im in love. but i Im not sure if he feels the same cos, he doesn't text or call often. sometimes if i don't hear from him for 3 days I text him. so what do you think should i cut him lost or what? i like him a lot. sex was really good. DO YOU THINK HE FEELS THE SAME THE WAY I FELT FOR HIM?
2) my ex that i was In love before, he called me on in off, he has a living girlfriend right now, but he calls me from out of the blue that hes breaking up with the current girlfriend in wanting to comeback with me. but this is been going on for about 3 years! sometimes he disappear for a few months then from out of the blue he would call that he still missis me, he still loves me, blah, blah, he would promise everything of what woman want to hear. because i till love him. i got excited in holding my hope to be with him. just recently i received a call from him, he said he would call me in 3 weeks coz he wanted to end his relationships with her current girlfriend. what should i do? Im confused! should i keep entertain his calls or just let him go. i don't know what to do do. do you think my ex-still love me?
-- Contributed by: very confused inlove"Before uncovering the reasons behind the question, why do men lie about cheating, we need to understand where it starts."(actually we don't need to know where it starts - we need to hold them accountable and walk away from them to end it)
"Where does it begin?" It begins with dishonesty and lack of self control on HIS part. It begins with women deserve better men and if one would stand up and hold them accountable many might stop finding it acceptable to behave that way and lie about it.
Why on earth would you want to date someone who has both qualities?
Tammy, you don't need to "prove accusations", you need to begin to really love yourself and trust your own instincts. He is being abusive and putting the blame on you? What kind of man is that?
You need to take a good look art yourself and remember if at age 10 when you dreamed about your awesome guy and getting married someday - this cheating, abusive, selfish creep was what you dreamed about? No, so get his ass out the door and get off your couch, look at why you were attracted to this type of guy in the first place, and then enjoy your life without him so you can EVENTUALLY actually meet someone worth your time.
If you don't love yourself first, no one will know how to treat you. If you accept even one bad treatment it will continue. Get some boundaries girl! You can do it!
-- Contributed by: Shari
This page has been accessed 1,394 times. This page was last modified 08:13, 27 March 2008.
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