When a Guy Cancels a First Date

Heather Long
Never stand a woman up on a first date.
Never stand a woman up on a first date.

When a guy cancels a first date it can say a lot of things to a woman. It's not only about him cancelling the first date, it's how he did it and if he asked for another date.

What You Hear

When a guy cancels a first date, you may find yourself listing all the reasons why. You may find yourself imagining things like he isn't that interested, he doesn't care or you're not important. It's important to listen to what he says and how he says it, not what he doesn't say and how you imagine it sounds.

Pay attention if he is rescheduling the date and silence all those unsaid words. Listen if he sounds disappointed or upset. A first date is important, but don't read too much into it if he doesn't sound as down about it as you feel.

Understanding When a Guy Cancels a First Date

Planning a first date is an important event for many women. Canceling that date comes with inherent disappointment. To understand what the cancellation means, it's important to pay attention to how he did it.

Five Ways to Tell the Date Wasn't Important to Him

Canceling may be unavoidable. However, some methods of cancellation make it clear that the date was not as important to him as it was to you.

  • He sends a text that he cannot make it at the last minute.
  • He posts a public note on Facebook, MySpace or Twitter announcing he can't make it.
  • His ex-girlfriend, sister, or mutual friend cancels for him.
  • He sends an email, an instant message, or a direct message via social networking with no explanation.
  • He stands you up. This is by the far the worst and the least forgivable (unless it's due to an emergency) .

Knowing if You Should Reschedule the First Date

Since so many things can happen that can make him cancel the first date, you should give him another chance if he takes the time to do it right, and be open to rescheduling that first date with him. The following are some other situations in which you should reschedule the date:

  • He calls as soon as he knows he can't make it. In an emergency, a last minute call may be unavoidable, but remember, he did think to call you, and that says a lot.
  • He sends flowers and asks for another first date immediately. It's even better if he suggests a romantic location.
  • He asks to just delay the date rather than cancel it; especially if the guy says he really doesn't want to wait several days to see you.
  • He performs a romantic gesture, such as sending a thoughtful note or poem via email.
  • He promises to make all your dates first dates.

Assume Good Intentions

The best thing you can do when a guy cancels a first date is to assume good intentions until proven otherwise. While it may be easy to jump to conclusions, you may want to hear him out about what his true intentions were in cancelling. If he is motivated to reschedule with you, then you know that he's still interested in you, and if he doesn't, he wasn't worth it anyway.

When a Guy Cancels a First Date