What to Talk About with Your Boyfriend

Heather Long
Young couple feeling happy

Do you ever wonder what to talk about with your boyfriend to help you become closer? For some couples it's effortless to find things to talk about, while others continuously struggle to find a common ground. If you're in a relationship and want more things to talk about, or if you're wondering if you've picked the right guy, there are conversations that will help you find the answers.

Talk to Your Boyfriend Like He's Your Friend

From casual matters to more serious subjects, choose conversation topics that build your relationship. If he's a new boyfriend, asking fun questions to get to know him, is a good start. Further down the line, ask him about deeper matters that will help solidify an emotional bond.

Breaking the Ice

Sometimes the hardest conversations to have are those first ones when you're just getting to know each other and you're not sure what to say. Day to day stuff might seem easy, you can talk about sports, video games, shared interests, or you can keep it random. Don't forget, 'Hey, what's up? How are you?' always works to start a conversation. Other great topics to discuss include:

  • Weekend plans - his and yours
  • Favorite day of the week - Is Friday your favorite day because you don't have to get up early on Saturday?
  • Shopping - Some guys actually like shopping, depending on the store. So it doesn't hurt to ask about it, or you can even kick it off with a question about the latest video game system or smart phone.
  • The simplest route to starting the conversation is: "Hey, how are you? What are you up to? Would you like to…?"

Offering the guy some insights and opportunities is not only a great way to get him talking. It's also a way to make plans together.

Sports Interests

Most guys have an interest in sports, so talking or asking questions about his favorite sport, is one way to get him talking.

  • enthusiastic fans
    Ask him about highlights of when he played a sport and his favorite teams such as what sport is his favorite to watch? Which is his favorite to play?
  • Get him to explain the rules for a sporting event you don't understand-and then have him take you to watch it. What's a quarter? What's a half? Why do pitchers throw balls instead of strikes? Terminology is key.
  • If you're already interested in the same sport, debate him about the merits of one team versus another. Guys like it when girls express an interest in what they love.

Don't be shocked if your guy isn't into sports, some guys aren't. If he's not, ask him what does he like?

Shared Interests

When you have mutual interests, it's easy to pick a topic and start there. But how do you get there?

  • So what's your favorite movie?
  • What's the scariest movie you've ever seen?
  • Who's your favorite actor/ actress?
  • What's your favorite ride at Disneyland? or Disneyworld?
  • Do you like to read?
  • Who's the best hero - Harry Potter, Percy Jackson or Edward Cullen?
  • Where's the funnest place you've ever been to?
  • What was your best vacation?
  • What's your favorite food?
  • Do you cook?
  • What's your favorite restaurant?
  • Do you have any hobbies?
  • What's your favorite superhero?

Remember, each of these questions is a kick-starter; you get the conversation going and then see where it takes you! Don't be afraid to disagree with a choice. It can be loads of fun to debate the merits of one fandom against another or even one type of car or another and can lead to more conversations.

Keeping it Random

The easiest conversation kick-starter is asking your boyfriend what's up? If they say 'nothing,' then you can always switch to 'wanna hear something funny that happened today?' Boyfriends are friends too, and you should treat them as such. Avoid yes and no questions because you want to start a conversation, not just get an answer. Use anecdotes to get the conversation going:

  • Couple hugging
    Can you believe what <insert teacher name> said about the homework? Want to work on it together? (Use this especially if it's a tough subject.)
  • Did you hear the latest song by <insert the name of your favorite artist>? Check out YouTube for some really funny videos and share those!
  • Ask what if questions such as what if you could go anywhere in the world? Where would you go? Why? If you could solve one problem in the world, what would it be? If you were president, what would be the first thing you did? Don't worry if the questions are silly, just get the conversation going.
  • Dogs or cats?
  • If you could have a superpower, what would it be? Debating the merits of telepathy versus flying versus telekinesis can sometimes get heated!
  • You're stranded on a desert island, what one item could not live with out?

Video games are always good conversation starters, but if you hate them be wary about bringing them up. Most gamers can chat about their favorites for hours.

Him, His Family and His Future

One way to really get to know your boyfriend is to encourage him to talk about him. Ask your boyfriend about his childhood, his parents and siblings. Have him share memories, both good and bad, about growing up. You'll find that by doing this, you'll have a better understanding of him and the person he is today.

  • Happy couple holding sonogram
    Who is your favorite relative?
  • What is the best piece of advice you received?
  • What is the craziest thing you've ever done?
  • Where do you want to go to college?

Sometimes the best conversation starters can be just talking about yourself. Tell him about a favorite aunt or that crazy road trip you took with your grandmother. Give him an opportunity to share a similar story.

What Really Matters

Notice how you feel when you talk to your boyfriend. Are you energized and excited or bored and distracted? The key is not only finding things to talk about, but also enjoying his company. A great deal of time is spent doing normal daily things in a relationship, and being able to have conversations, as well as enjoy the silence in the less exciting moments, is important. If you're having a hard time finding things to talk about with your boyfriend, this dead end might be an indication that it's time to reevaluate your relationship.

What to Talk About with Your Boyfriend