Turning a Friend Into a Boyfriend
From LoveToKnow Dating
One day, you see the guy who's always been there for you in a new light, and suddenly your thoughts drift to turning a friend into a boyfriend.
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Considering Turning a Friend into a Boyfriend
Benefits
He's seen you at your worst. Whether you're "one of the guys" or you've been friends since childhood, he's bound to have witnessed some less-than-perfect moments. He may have held your head over the toilet on your 21st birthday or been at your side during the bedwetting years. There won't be any of that anxiety you often feel during the early stages of a relationship. What if he sees you after a workout at the gym? Should you let him bring you flowers when you're in bed with the flu? It won't matter because he's seen it all before.
You have common interests. Whether you're both Notre Dame fans or you attend every rock concert in a four-state radius together, you know you have something in common with this potential boyfriend. Maybe the interest drew you together in the first place or you've been around each other so long you've developed common hobbies. Either way, it's a definite advantage in the dating game.
You have common friends. In many cases when you're interested in turning a friend into a boyfriend, you're both part of a larger group of friends. You'll avoid the awkwardness of having to meet his friends and trying to get comfortable in a new social group while you're already trying to get comfortable in a new relationship. You also don't have to worry about your boyfriend leaving you alone to spend time with his friends when they're your friends, too.
You're familiar with his bad habits. You know what they are, and learned to accept them long ago. There goes a potential source of conflict in new relationships.
You know his family. This is more likely if you've been friends since childhood, but it presents one less relationship anxiety.
You know each other's dating history. While couples should be open and honest with each other, this isn't always the case. If your new boyfriend is your best friend, he won't unexpectedly introduce an ex-wife or child to you.
You already care for each other. Why not take the next step? You'll be building on an existing foundation of trust and affection.
Potential Problems
Will you ever be alone? When you have all the same friends, will your friends always be there, not giving you a chance to settle into your new relationship?
Are you work friends? Workplace romance brings an entirely different set of concerns, especially if one of you is in a supervisory position over the other.
Where's the mystery and romance? Sometimes you can be too comfortable with each other. If he's burping on the first date or refusing to share his popcorn at the movies, you may start rethinking this change in your relationship.
You know each other's dating history. Sometimes you just want to keep past indiscretions a secret from a new boyfriend. It's also hard to avoid comparing yourself to his ex-girlfriends when you knew each and every one of them.
What if he's not interested? This isn't a crush you can just let fade away after a rejection. How will you deal with it?
Can your friendship survive a break-up? If dating doesn't work out, will you be able to go back to being friends? Can you stand it if you lose a boyfriend and a good friend at the same time?
Taking the Plunge
After weighing the advantages and disadvantages, you may decide your friend is better remaining just a friend, or you may decide he's the true love of your life. Sometimes you just have to follow your heart and take a chance, even when the odds seem stacked against you. Only you can make the final decision.
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This page has been accessed 2,774 times. This page was last modified 21:50, 9 September 2008.
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