Teen Online Dating

Underage Dating

As the times change, it seems like kids are starting to date younger and younger. In earlier generations, when a fifth-grader said she had a boyfriend, everyone thought it was cute puppy love. These days, parents worry that they might find the two of them under the bleachers.

There are plenty of theories to explain why young kids and teens are getting involved in sexual activity earlier. Some link it to sexually charged movies and TV shows. Others blame it on the fact that parents are busy and families spend less time together. Maybe it's really just something in the water.

No matter what, though, it's a fact of life. And part of the exploring that today's kids are doing involves teen online dating.

Teens on Grownup Sites

Most dating sites are designed only for adults. To join, you have to click a box that states that you're eighteen or older. Obviously, there's nothing to stop a younger teen from clicking the box and getting full access to the site. Adults who use these sites need to keep this in mind. Claiming not to have known that your date was underage doesn't hold up well in court. Of course, teens who are eighteen and over are welcome, and there are plenty of them online.

Sites Popular with Teens and Young Adults

Many high school and college students enjoy sites like MySpace, FaceBook, and Friendster. Facebook requires each user to have an e-mail address from an accepted high school, college or company. Members of all these sites can create a personalized home page and join a network that links them to friends, friends of friends, and so on.

For dating purposes, the home pages serve a similar function to dating site profiles. Teens can see each others' pictures, find people with similar interests, and get in touch.

Dating Sites Just for Teens

There are very few true teen online dating sites. The sites that advertise "hot sexy teenagers" aren't dating sites--they're aimed at adults who want to have sex with teenagers, and some are downright illegal. One site that really is directed at teens is eSpinTheBottle. This site is part of the eCrush network, which was founded in 1999 to give people a chance to see if their crushes liked them, too. The title comes from an old party game, when teenagers would sit in a circle with a soda bottle in the middle. Each person would take a turn spinning the bottle, then have to kiss whoever it pointed to. Teens and college students are the intended audience for eSpinTheBottle. Users create profiles, then "spin the bottle" electronically to see a profile of someone they might be interested in. The site also has more conventional matching options, including a search feature.

Although there aren't a lot of teen dating sites, there are other places for teens to meet online.

• KidzWorld offers kid-friendly online entertainment directed at children and teens. Visitors can easily find video game reviews, articles about sports, contests, quizzes, games, celebrity news, and more. A forum especially for teens lets users share their thoughts and enthusiasms. Topics include music, boyfriend/girlfriend issues, TV and movies, games and sports. A moderated chat room is open in the afternoons and evenings, closing by 10pm. Teens are reminded not to give out personal information.
• TeenSpot is a site that includes entertainment news and contests, but it's really meant to be a place for teens to gather. It offers extensive message boards and active chat rooms, including ones for "singles" and "flirting." It's not clear whether the forums and chats are moderated.
• Student Center has been growing and evolving since the 1980's. Message boards cover many topics of interest to teens, including romance and dating. A "groups" function lets members start or join special interest forums, and a "hotties" section invites members to rate others' pictures, plus send in their own. Student Center welcomes teens, high school students, and college students. The message boards are loosely moderated, with inappropriate or offensive messages removed.

Specialty Sites

The Internet world holds a large variety of web sites dedicated to hobbies like writing, video games, or sports. Some of these sites also have special sections just for teens. Although special interest sites aren't set up for traditional dating, they're a chance for people who like the same things to get to know each other online. Teens shouldn't count on romance happening, any more than you'd depend on finding a date in your art class or at a baseball game. Then again, you never know!

Common Sense for Teen Online Dating

If you're a teen looking for a date online, here are some basic rules to stay safe:

• Don't give out personal information. If you feel you've connected with someone online and want to meet in person, get your parents involved. Let them help you decide if it's truly a safe situation.
• If you do meet someone in person, never go alone. Always have a parent or trusted friend nearby.
• Remember that people online don't always tell the truth. There are many adults who pose as teenagers to try to get attention, money, or sex.
• Don't give your heart away so quickly. Until you've met them in person, you have no idea what your online friend is really like.
• Avoid sex completely. Just like in the non-virtual world, make sure you know someone well before you even kiss them. Remember, people online are not always honest — including about sexually transmitted diseases and birth control.
• Try not to limit yourself only to teen online dating - get out in the real world, too. As a teenager, you need practice getting to know people, flirting, and going on real-world dates. Don't miss out!

Related Sites

• Dating Web Sites
• Dating Personals
• How to Find a Date
• First Date Ideas
• First Date Tips