Teen Dating Violence

Are you or your friend a victim of teen dating violence? WomensLaw.org is a helpful resource for information and support through the site's e-mail hotline. Read this interview with the WomensLaw.org website staff and learn how to get help with teen dating abuse.

The mission of WomensLaw.org is to provide easy to understand legal information and resources to women living with or escaping domestic violence or sexual assault. By reaching out through the Internet, we empower women and girls to lead independent lives, free from abuse.

Our information for teens provides easy to understand information that covers a wide range of topics, such as:

• What is dating violence?
• What might happen to me if I’m in an abusive relationship?
• How do I get out of an abusive relationship?
• How can I tell if my friend is in an abusive relationship?
• Am I eligible for a protective or restraining order even though I am under 18?
• Where can I find help?

WomensLaw.org runs an e-mail hotline, which anyone can write in with questions or concerns. Adults and teens from all walks of life write to the email hotline with questions about their legal rights, how to stay safe, and where to get help in their state.

Dating violence is type of behavior where one person in a relationship uses abuse to control a partner. This abusive behavior can occur in all types of dating relationships and the mistreatment includes physical, sexual, mental, or emotional abuse. Therefore, even if you are not being physically hurt, you may still be a victim of dating violence.

Ask yourself: Am I going out with someone who...

• makes me worry about his/her reactions to things I say or do?
• is jealous and possessive, won't let me have friends, checks up on me all the time?
• tries to control me by being bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, not taking my opinions seriously?
• puts me down in front of friends, tells me that I would be nothing without him/her?
• scares me?
• threatens me?
• is violent?
• has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly, brags about mistreating others?
• grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits me?
• pressures me for sex or is forceful or scary about sex?
• gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
• won't accept breaking up?
• has a history of failed relationships and always blames the other person for all the problems?
• makes my family and friends uneasy and concerned for my safety?
• makes me feel like I need to apologize to others or myself when he/she treats me badly?

• Your boyfriend or girlfriend puts you down or calls you names in front of others.
• You are giving up things that are important to you, like spending time with friends or family, and are feeling more isolated.
• Your boyfriend or girlfriend acts extremely jealous when you talk to friends of the opposite sex, even when it is completely innocent.
• Your boyfriend or girlfriend is constantly calling or texting, and demanding to know where you have been.
• You are always worried about upsetting your boyfriend or girlfriend. You've seen your boyfriend or girlfriend lose his/her temper, maybe even get violent when he/she is mad.

A great place to start if you need help is with The National Teen Dating Violence Helpline. You can chat with an advocate online through the website. You may prefer to call their helpline at 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453 TTY.

You may also want to contact a local domestic violence organization or rape crisis center in your area. You'll find listings for those at WomensLaw.org, under the Where to Find Help tab.

If you suspect a friend is in an abusive relationship, you might want to try talking to him or her to find out for sure. The Loveisrespect.org website has a list of things to keep in mind when you're talking to a friend who may be experiencing dating violence.

One of the most unfortunate side effects of domestic violence is that victims often feel extremely isolated. It might help to make sure your friend feels connected to you, his or her other friends, and that you continue to support your friend even if he or she decides not leave the relationship.

Your friend can also make a safety plan by following the steps at the Staying Safe webpage. A safety plan helps your friend stay as safe as possible before, during, or after leaving. Your friend should also remember that, if in danger, he or she can call 9-1-1 for assistance.

A local domestic violence program may also be able to assist with counseling, linking up with resources in the community, and help finding safe shelter. To find a domestic violence program in your state, go to state and local programs under Where to Find Help tab at the WomensLaw.org website.

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