Teen Chat

From LoveToKnow Dating

Teen chat is an important part of many kids' social lives. Today's teens chat online the way earlier generations talked on the phone. "Chatting" can mean taking part in public chat rooms, sending personal instant messages, or participating in an online forum.

LoveToKnow Dating Tips
For the Teens
Chatting online can be a fun and easy way to connect with your friends. Rather than make a long phone call, you can simply send them a quick joke while studying on the computer. Just keep in mind that monopolizing a friend’s online time or chatting with strangers is really not in your best interests. Keep it light, fun and safe!

Chat Rooms

Chat rooms are public spaces on the Internet where users can participate in real-time written conversations. The "room" is essentially a web page that's set up to receive and display each person's comments. Users enter by clicking on a chat icon and can leave by logging out. Some chat rooms require users to sign up for a membership to a web site. Others let users start chatting without providing any specific information.

Many chat rooms claim to be set up especially for teens. However, very few provide any kind of monitoring to make sure that participants really are teenagers. Conversations in unmonitored teen chat rooms are often heavily weighted toward sex. Violence and suicide are, unfortunately, also common topics. The risk of chatting with a "teen" who is actually an adult pedophile is real possibility.

A few sites do try to be safe spaces for teenagers. Kidscom.com requires parents' permission to register and states that it monitors teen chat rooms to ensure conversations are appropriate for a younger audience. Another option is the chat rooms at Kids Turn, which are open for limited hours and the site monitors them by an adult during those times.

Instant Messaging

Instant messaging (IM) is a popular way for teens to chat online. IM's are a hybrid of real-time e-mails and personalized chat rooms. You need a person's IM address to contact them; if they respond, a chat-room type window opens up on the computer screen. Both users can then type messages, which appear instantly on each other's screen.

Often, IM's are an innocent way for teens to keep in touch. Teenagers IM with school friends, with boyfriends or girlfriends, and with friends who have moved away. However, it's also common for people to post their IM addresses on dating sites and on public sites like MySpace. It isn't difficult for a teen to make connections with people who might not have the best intentions.

As with chat, IM is safest when it's monitored with an adult. Since IM's are private communications, similar to e-mail, the services do not offer any monitoring. It's up to parents to know whom their kids are writing to.

Message Boards and Forums

Some web sites refer to message boards as "chats." Message boards (also called forums) are like online bulletin boards, where users can post messages for others to see. Users can also respond to others' posts.

Some message boards are specifically oriented toward teens, but few of them are strictly monitored. Many boards do have monitors who will delete obvious spam. Some also remove profane language and overt sexual talk, but on many boards language is not edited. Teens may be safest at topic-oriented sites centering on music, sports, creative writing, other hobbies, or religion, instead of at non-specific "teen" boards. Inappropiate conversations are less likely to be welcome at these topic-specific boards.

Even if the conversation is clean, message boards carry the same risks as other forms of teen chat. Participants' ages and backgrounds cannot be verified. Regular users often develop online friendships, which could be potentially risky if teens decide to meet their online friends in person.

Safety and Teen Chat

Parents should never let teens chat online unsupervised. Experts recommend keeping the computer in a well-traveled room of the house, so that parents can look over the teen's shoulder now and then. Keeping lines of communication open between parents and kids is important; kids should feel comfortable telling parents about online experiences and Internet friends.

Teens should promise to:

Tell a parent if an online experience makes them uncomfortable or worried.
Keep personal information private, including real name, address, neighborhood, and school.
Never meet an online friend in person, unless a parent has given permission and comes along.

Parents should:

Monitor teens' computer use.
Familiarize themselves with online lingo and abbreviations.
Spend time with their children visiting the teens' favorite sites.
Consider using blocking and filtering software.
Talk with teens about safety, including the dangers of meeting online friends in person.