Starting Oral Sex

From LoveToKnow Dating

Are you thinking of starting oral sex to jump start your relationship? Check out this advice from our dating coach first.

Starting Oral Sex for More Excitement

Reader Question

I was wondering if you had a few tips for me about how to get your relationship going and what should I do before I start oral sex?

-- Contributed by: chelsy

Expert Reply

Dear Chelsy,

While I don’t have much information about your current relationship or a relationship you are interested in developing, I would like to clarify one thing; oral sex is sex and should not be used as a tool to getting someone to like you. Sex, whether oral or intercourse, should be used as way of deepening a relationship that already has a solid foundation built on trust between loving individuals. This may sound a bit old fashioned in thinking, given that ‘hooking up’ is commonly used to describe the casual and informal lack of traditional dating practices used by the current generation.

Today’s generation uses group friendship as an opportunity to pair off and have casual sex or what you refer to as oral sex. It’s a mistake to believe you can tell a lot about a guy by how he behaves in a group. Dating… that ritual of pairing off as a couple and doing things that couples do, is how you learn about your guy, his ability to be trusted, honest and loyal. Group friendships help you identify someone you want to get to know better. Dating is how you get a relationship going. Relationships get going when two people spend time together getting to know each other through sharing thoughts, doing activities together, having disagreements and working through them. Sex, whether oral or other, is how two people share their commitment and express their feelings for the other person. When sex is used to get a relationship going or worse as an act void of any emotional feeling, it diminishes sex and the people who engage in it.

Don’t short change yourself into thinking that sex doesn’t mean anything. It means a lot emotionally, mentally and physically. I can tell you that sex is a way two people who love each other and care about each other demonstrate their commitment to each other. When sex is used this way, you feel good about yourself, about your partner and about the relationship.

~~Lori

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