Singles Mixer

singles mixer

Wondering what a singles mixer might be? Read on to see how our dating coach responded to this very question.

What is a Singles Mixer?

Reader Question

Hi Lori, could you tell me what is a singles mixer? I'm 27 and I have been single for 3 years. My ex boyfriend and I broke up because he cheated on me and also blamed me for my miscarrying our baby. Also I am moving from San Francisco to Los Angeles . I heard about a singles mixer on television. Are there any in Los Angeles and also how is this different from online dating, speed dating and going to a bar? Also is this a good place to take my little sister? She is 24 and she is worried that if I take her to a place like this she will feel like the only virgin there and I told her that it is probably not true. She is an overweight but curvy girl. She feels guys would not like her because of her whole body. Also my sister and I have a unique ethnic back ground - our mother is a Jamaican and our father is German and Italian. It would be nice if I brought anybody of any race home to meet my parents or if my sister did the same thing. I should mention that my sister is also going to live with me. Therefore, do you know if any mixers are in Los Angeles or should I look online to see where they are at? Thank You.-- Contributed by: claire

Expert Reply

Dear Claire,

A mixer is another way for singles to come together to meet. Sometimes mixers are sponsored by singles organizations, non-profits who are hosting the event to raise money for a cause, faith-based organizations, etc. They differ from online dating, in that the people attending are not screened or fit a certain profile. Mixers are different then speed dating. With speed dating you have a limited amount of time to talk with the one person before you have to move on the next person. Mixers do share some similarity to the bar scene. The differences are that people attending mixers are single (not so in a bar), they might be attending in part because everyone there is single, and also the individual supports or has an interest in the sponsor of the mixer.

Mixer and other single events are a good opportunity for both you and your younger sister to meet other singles. Using the Internet is a good way to learn about the various singles events in your neighborhood well as in the surrounding area. Not all mixers are created equal, so spending time finding out who is sponsoring the event, if there is a charge to attend, the age range of the participants, ethnic makeup, etc. is a good way for you and your sister to select an event you both are interested in. Given the rich and diverse family history, you may want to look for mixers that explore your family heritage. The Internet can also help you check out different Chamber of Commerce events. You can find Chambers by community, neighborhood, gender, and ethnicity. Although not all the people attending a Chamber meeting/event are single, many are working professionals who know the area and can give you and your sister suggestions for becoming familiar with your new city.

The way you can help your sister is by recognizing that there are parts of herself she is self-conscious about. One area of concern is with her virginity. You can support her feelings and help her understand that no one will ever be able to tell by looking at her that she is a virgin. The only way someone would know is if she tells him or her. While it may be true that many young people today lose their virginity prior to age twenty-four, there is a growing support for remaining a virgin longer, which means it is not so unusual for someone to be in their twenty's and still be a virgin. The other area where your sister is self-conscious is with her weight. Luckily, there are many men who find larger, curvaceous woman exciting. There are dating sites for just larger woman.

Dating preferences are like ice cream flavors; there is someone out there for every taste. I love chocolate ice cream! Nevertheless, I am in the minority. In a recent survey of ice cream preferences, vanilla ranked #1 with 29 percent of the vote, followed by chocolate at 9 percent, and strawberry at 5 percent. Praline ice cream comes in at a distant 10th place with only 2 percent of the vote. The point here is that neither you nor your sister is plain vanilla, you both are richer exotic flavors and while the pool may be smaller for people with your preference, wouldn't you rather be a rich exotic woman, than a plain vanilla any day?

~~Lori

Singles Mixer