Signs of a Cheater

Signs of a Cheater

Do you have a sneaky suspicion that your husband, wife, or partner is cheating on you, but you can't be sure if this is the case? What are the signs of a cheater? The following will give you some idea of what to notice if you think your relationship might be in trouble. Remember, though, that just because your partner is exhibiting some, or even all of the following, doesn't necessarily mean he or she is cheating. There could be other reasons for his behavior, such as stress at work, health issues, etc. Have you noticed any of the following signs?

• He finds fault in everything you do?
• She no longer wants to have sex.
• He suddenly seems intent on losing weight, working out, etc.
• She makes excuses to spend more time alone.
• He starts working later hours.
• She gets really fixed up just to run some errands.
• He takes a long time to go to the grocery store.
• She spends a lot of time on the phone, and you don't know who she is talking to.
• He doesn't like you looking at his cell phone.
• She deletes all her calls on her cell phone.
• He takes more business trips than usual.
• She buys provocative underwear, bras, etc.
• He has lipstick on his collar.
• She comes back from an errand with her hair out of place, makeup smudged, etc.
• He doesn't want you to visit him at work.
• She says she needs her "space".
• He isn't as affectionate any more.
• She comes home smelling faintly of someone else.
• He comes home and immediately takes a shower.
• She seems nervous before or after she goes out.
• He stops wearing his wedding ring.
• She gets lots of calls that are "wrong numbers".
• He password protects his laptop or PC.
• She doesn't want you to visit her at work.
• He doesn't want to kiss you as often.
• She seems focused on something else rather than you, the kids, the house, etc.
• He picks fights about insignificant issues.
• She looks for excuses to get out of the house.
• He appears impatient and doesn't want to talk.
• You find mysterious receipts and /or credit card charges.
• You notice strange numbers on the cell phone bill.
• You discover large ATM withdrawals.
• You find that the passenger seat position in the car has been changed.
• You discover birth control that your partner typically wouldn't use.

What to Do

If you've read the above signs of a cheater and you truly suspect your spouse of falling into this category, what do you do?

• First, be careful about how you accuse the alleged guilty party. Unless you've caught him or her red-handed in an affair, you may be setting your relationship up for failure when there is a possibility that nothing is going on. Your partner may become tired of your jealousy and suspicions, and this may be the undoing of your relationship.
• The next step can take you in one of two directions. You can either sit down with your partner or discuss your suspicions calmly (this can be difficult). Be sure you give her specifics as to the grounds for your suspicions. Give details and dates. If you have any phone records, show those to her as you discuss the issue.
• You may already know your partner well enough to realize that he won't admit to anything, and if this is the case, then you may be ready to do some investigating.
• Finally, don't go through this alone. Find a good counselor. This doesn't have to be a marriage counselor. In fact, if you think your marriage is over, you should still consider getting some counseling to help you through the ordeal. Even if you want to salvage the marriage, it might pay to have someone who will listen to just you. After you get yourself in a stronger position, you can consider going into counseling with your partner.