Sex Addiction

From LoveToKnow Dating

Sex addiction is a very real problem. People who suffer from this predicament have trouble maintaining healthy relationships and may put themselves at risk of dangerous STDs.

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Facing Addiction
The first step in overcoming sexual addiction is admitting that you have a problem. If your sexual behavior is harming you or the people around you, it's time to get some help.

Identifying the Addiction

Sex addiction is not about liking sex. Addiction describes a self-destructive situation. Addicts have trouble controlling their sexual needs.

The "sex" in a sexual addiction can include masturbation, looking at pornography, sexual intercourse, fetish play, or any other sexual behavior. Many, but not all, addicts have one particular behavior that is difficult to stop.

The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health offers the following questions to help you identify if you have an addiction.

Do I have a sense that I have lost control over whether or not I engage in my specific out-of-control sexual behavior?
Am I experiencing significant consequences because of my specific out-of-control sexual behavior?
Do I feel like I am constantly thinking about my specific out-of-control sexual behavior, even when I don't want to?

Warning Signs

The following signs signal that there is a problem with a person's sexual choices.

Sex is shameful. Addicts often know that they are hurting their long-term partners, risking STDs, and otherwise behaving in ways they are not proud of.
Sex is kept a secret. Many addicts prefer not to admit the extent to which they practice their sexual behaviors. They may keep secret how many partners they've had, how much they spend on pornography, or how often they masturbate.
Sex is coercive. Addicts may trick others into participating in sexual behaviors. This can range from "flashing" a stranger to cajoling a date into bed.
Sex is abusive. Not all addicts practice abusive sex. However, forcing someone into sex or having sex with children are possible signs of addiction. These acts are both illegal and very harmful to the other people involved. Help for both the addict and the victim is essential.

Why Sex Can Be Addictive

Treating sex addiction is a relatively new field in medicine. There is no definite explanation for why some people become addicted to sex. It's likely that one or more of the following contributes to the problem.

Chemical influences. Sex releases powerful chemicals in the brain. These chemicals are responsible for the good feelings that sexual intercourse creates. Addicts may become dependent on these chemicals to relax, to feel pleasure, or to combat depression.
Emotional influences. Many sex addicts have trouble maintaining healthy relationships. Sexual encounters may fill an emotional void.
Genetics. Having a close relative who is an alcoholic increases a person's risk of having problems with alcohol. The same link is possible for sex addiction.

Dangers of Sex Addiction

For the addict, sex addiction eventually brings feelings of being out of control. The addict may spend money unwisely on dates, hotel rooms, prostitutes, or pornography. He or she may make unsafe choices, having sex with strangers and/or neglecting to use a condom. The risk of STDs increases the more partners a person has.

Addicts also say that the addiction interferes with friendships and relationships. Just like in a drug addiction, sex may take priority over love, work, friendships, and family.

Harm to Others

People who are addicted to sex may unintentionally hurt the people they choose to partner with. For the addict, a brief sexual encounter is one in a long series of such events. For the partner in that encounter, the addict's easy dismissal of any emotional ties can be insulting and upsetting.

An addict's behavior can put a severe strain on a long-term relationship. Trust is essential to a healthy partnership. When the addict continually pursues sexual encounters with people outside that partnership, the other partner feels hurt and betrayed.

Learn More About Sex!

If a person addicted to sex contracts an STD, he/she may pass it to multiple partners before symptoms even appear. Most STDs are curable, but some are not. HPV, herpes, and HIV are diseases that could permanently affect a sexual partner's health.

Getting Help

If you think you have a sex addiction, get help. A doctor or therapist can help you confront the problem and begin to get better. Not all health professionals are familiar with this problem, so if the first one you see can't help you, try another. Many addicts also appreciate Sexaholics Anonymous meetings. Just like Alcoholics Anonymous, this group provides a supportive setting with people in all stages of recovery.