Relationship Breakups

How to Breakup

You're in a relationship that is going nowhere fast, and you know it's time to cut your losses. Relationship breakups aren't easy, however, even if you know in your heart it is the right thing to do.

• Don't put it off. Unfortunately, many people put off the inevitable breakup because they either think things will get better or they are waiting on the right time. If the other person doesn't want the relationship to end, however, there will never be a right time. Do yourself and your partner a favor and take care of it now!
• Don't play the blame game. Sure, you may have every reason for breaking off the relationship, but pointing fingers and hurling insults won't get the job done any quicker or easier. You want closure, not bad feelings, and although someone is probably going to get hurt, you want to walk away from the situation with your dignity. While one person may shoulder most of the blame, there are typically two sides to any story, so don't end your relationship by placing all of the blame on the other party. Instead, take on some of the responsibility as well.
• Try to end on a positive note. Of course this is easier said than done, but after the tears have dried and time has passed, you'll be glad you ended the relationship on a good note. Point out the memories you will treasure from your time together, even if the other person doesn't want to hear it at the moment.
• Remain calm. If at all possible, rein in your emotions. Breakups can be highly emotional for everyone. Don’t be afraid to give reasons as to why the relationship has to end, but do this in a calm, caring manner.
• Trust your instincts. If you are in an abusive situation, then do whatever is necessary to keep yourself safe. If this means involving the police, then do so. If you feel like you need to get a restraining order, then get one, and do the breaking up through an attorney if necessary. Above all, don't allow yourself to be alone with this person if you think there is any chance he could harm you or others.

Surviving Relationship Breakups

Relationship breakups can wreak havoc on anyone's emotional state. If you've already experienced the pain of a breakup, then you know how devastating it can be. You can survive a breakup, however.

• Time will heal. As cliché as this might sound, it is really true. Time heals, but you have to give yourself that time. Don't expect to feel better overnight. Put one foot in front of the other each day. Get up every morning, and eventually, you'll find that each of those steps will get a little easier to take.
• Lean on others. Now is not the time to retreat into yourself. While you might need a little alone time to lick your wounds, it will make you feel much better if you share your grief with those who love you. Let others surround you with their love. You'll need it!
• Seek professional help. For some people, a breakup can be so excruciating that they just can't seem to function on a day to day basis. If this is you, then it may be time to seek professional help. Find a counselor that specializes in treating those who are experiencing relationship problems.
• Stay busy. Ending a relationship means losing a big part of your daily life. You may have spent lots of time with your partner, and now that time is an empty block in each of your days. Now is the time to keep busy. Find a new hobby; go back to school; join a gym or book club. Above all, make time for yourself.
• Watch out for the rebound. Finally, if you are one of those people who simply can't be alone, you may be in danger of a rebound relationship. The problem? This relationship may end, too, leaving you with another broken relationship to get over while you are still trying to heal from the first one. Don't jump into a new relationship until you are over the old one!

Relationship breakups can be emotionally difficult to handle, but by giving yourself time to heal and surrounding yourself with family and friends, you can come out of it a stronger person.