Personal Ads

Placing personal ads to find a mate dates back to the 1800s, basically as long as there have been newspapers distributed. Even in today’s online dating rage, a personal ad tucked into your local paper will still generate expansive interest.

Whether you are considering placing or responding to a personal ad, keep the following points in mind:

• Like all forms of mass collection of potential dates, prepare for rejection. Whether you simply are ignored by a potential ad match or have to cut the tie yourself, the art of playing the numbers means there will be many opportunities to weed out the incompatible.
• Placing the ad lets you call the initial shots, but responding to others’ ads will save you some money.
• When using personal ads as a dating service, keep in mind you will still eventually need to make that first connection and meet in person.
• Before responding or placing an ad, intensely research the publications where the ads are found. Selecting the placement of an ad is as important as what it says; it is the first step in the match making process.
• Be honest with your needs and expectations – avoiding wasting everyone’s time.
• Personal ads can be a fun way to meet new people; just don’t take it too seriously.

For many singles, perusing the personal ads is an experiment to break up the monotony of the standard blind dates or bar scenes. Many find themselves reading or writing ads for entertainment, but then discover they may have actually found a great new relationship.

When reading through the rows of boxes in the personal ad section of your favorite newspaper, take the requirements posted seriously. With only a small space to print their demands, relationship advertisers earnestly contemplate what type of information to place in their ad. If they are looking for a woman, aged 25 – 35 and you are 40, don’t respond. Save your time for the ads where your qualifications match their expectations.

If you are relatively new to the personal ad scene, you will need to know these important abbreviations:

• S = Single
• M = Married or Male – depending on the context.
• D = Divorced
• F = Female
• BI = Bisexual
• G = Gay
• TV = Transvestite
• TS = Transsexual
• L = Lesbian
• HIV = HIV positive
• W = White
• B = Black
• H = Hispanic
• A = Asian
• J = Jewish
• C = Christian or Catholic
• PROF = Professional
• NS = Non-smoking

As most publications charge by the word, when writing a personal ad it pays to be succinct. Therefore, mention the items that are most relevant and important to you in a relationship; but, avoid being too dry and allow some room for flare and creative language. Always proofread your ad and ask someone to read it for you – it is important for an unbiased party to give you an honest impression of the “feel” of your presentation.

Personal ads in a publication are different than the ones you find online. While there are similarities, more importance is placed on a short well-worded paragraph, rather than matching personalities and previewing photographs. When placing an ad, a photo is not preferable, while in on Internet profile it is a necessity.

Within your ad, you will want to avoid any reference to who you are or where you live for basic safety reasons; but, you will need to identify yourself with either a first name or a catchy nickname. When creating your ad, think of yourself as a product to sell. Read other ads for insight or even look through a catalog to see how copywriters promote their merchandise. These same skills will help you create a great impression in a small amount of space. Unless you are a professional writer, create your ad on a word processing document as it will spell and grammar check for you. Take advantage of a Thesaurus and Dictionary for maximum word satisfaction. Start with a long uninhibited ad and then edit it down to a more manageable length: twenty-five words is a reasonable goal. Always be sure to choose a title to distinguish your ad from the sea of other hopefuls.

Once you have placed your ad, give it some time before you follow up on any of the responses. Many relationship searchers take awhile before they respond to an ad, and the perfect match might be one of the last to connect. Ideally, you don’t need lots of responses to feel your ad has been successful. A handful of quality matches is a more realistic goal. Keep in mind that in personal ad etiquette, no response simply means, “not interested.” Therefore, it is not necessary to reply to everyone who responds to your ad.

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