Love Relationships

The Chemistry of Love

When you hear someone talk about the "chemistry" between two people, it's no joke. The feelings we interpret as "love" are initially sparked by the presence of chemicals in the body that prompt us to react in certain ways.

• Pheromones are chemicals that act as transmitters from one person to another. If you've ever been around someone that seemed to literally exude sexuality, then you've probably experienced some pheromones first hand.
• Oxytocin is another chemical that helps jump start our attractions. It's released when we are mentally or physically stimulated, by a look, a touch, or a tone of voice.
• Endorphins are the chemicals that give us a sense of well being, that same feeling you get when your partner is near, and the reason you long for your partner in his/her absence. This chemical has the strongest connection to the emotion of love, while oxytocin and pheromones are more closely connected with the sex drive.

Love Relationships

As you can see, some chemical reactions make it possible for us to find love attractions, but once the initial attraction is set into motion, how can we parlay that magnetism into love relationships? Mere chemistry isn't enough to bond two people together for a life time. Lasting love relationships require something far more tangible.

Respect

Respect is a crucial part of any love relationship. If your partner isn't someone you can admire for his/her values, morals, and conduct, how can you truly say you are in love? Respect must also be a two-way street. It's very hard to feel loved and give real love in return if your partner is disrespectful towards you and your self-esteem is under siege.

Honesty

A lack of honesty can be a real deal breaker for love relationships. If one partner can't count on the other to be truthful about his/her feelings, words, actions, or whereabouts, respect dies and love soon follows. Honesty, couched in sensitivity, is necessary for any relationship to remain healthy.

Opening yourself

Opening yourself to a relationship so fully that you actually lose your mind is a dangerous, scary and exhilarating thing. It can be wonderful. But passion isn't enough. There comes a time when that bright passion that carried you along fades a little. Sometimes, it just vanishes. Where are you then? If all that your relationship consisted of was big passionate moments, you might start to feel differently. Passion doesn't have to be about big moments, like making love on a joyride. Passion can simply come when you give your SO (signification other) a backrub when they're tired without asking.

Selflessness

Love relationships sometimes require putting your partner's needs before your own, especially when it's not easy to do so. Simple consideration for your partner's feelings and a little compromise now and then can go a long way toward keeping love intact.

Communication

Communication is another one of the key elements of a successful relationship. You not only need to express yourself honestly and respectfully, you have to be able to really listen to what your partner is saying to you too. When you begin to tune each other out, trouble isn't far behind.

If you work to keep these elements a vital part of your lives together, your relationship has a much greater chance for survival.

Keeping Love Fresh

It's good to finally reach the comfort zone with your partner where you no longer have to worry about how you look at every moment of the day. It's okay if you don't feel like being witty and entertaining 24/7. Your partner doesn't want to have to be "on" every moment either.

However, there is a difference between comfort and complacency. Complacency is the first step toward apathy. When you no longer put the effort into making yourself attractive to your partner, how long can you expect your partner to remain interested? You both have to care enough about the relationship to put in some extra effort from time to time.

Why not:

• Surprise your partner with a romantic lunch.
• Get a hair cut and a facial. Spruce up and remind your partner why he/she found you attractive in the first place.
• Leave love notes where they can be found throughout the day: on the medicine cabinet, under the bed pillow, in a box of his/her favorite breakfast cereal. Such an easy thing to do, but the gesture is huge.
• Rent your partner's favorite romantic movie and share a bottle of wine.
• Take an impromptu drive in the country on a beautiful day.
• Go back to bed and snuggle on a rainy day.
• Hold hands in public again.

None of these things are difficult to do, and yet they could mean so much to your relationship.

Conclusion

Love is a gift that requires a great deal of care and nurturing in order to thrive. If you're lucky enough to be in a love relationship, don't take it for granted.