Love Affair with a Married Man
From LoveToKnow Dating
Are you considering having a love affair with a married man? Before you do something you may regret, consider the pros and cons of having an affair.
Love Affair with a Married Man: The Good
Regardless of your feelings about affairs, the fact is there are some benefits to cheating.
Sex
The most common reason people have an affair is for sex. Sometimes the affair is only about sex, while other times an emotional cheating relationship becomes physical. The married man may fulfill you in ways other men have not. He may also be more adventurous than your spouse or other men you have dated. Whatever the situation is, you are likely to have some great sex with a married man, even if most of the excitement comes from the possibility of being caught.
Excitement
One of the most exciting times in a relationship is at the beginning. Getting to know someone new and trying new activities together is a lot of fun. A long-term relationship may feel boring and stale in comparison. Even if you or your married lover has no plans of getting a divorce, the excitement of a new relationship may prove too hard to resist.
Emotional Fulfillment
Sometimes what causes a married man to have an affair is a need for emotional fulfillment. He may have grown apart from his wife over the years and wants to find someone whom understands him. If he also understands you as well, the satisfaction this brings will often be more fulfilling than sex.
Avoid Divorce
Some people think divorce is worse than having an affair. If you agree with that statement, then an affair could be seen as a way of saving a marriage.
The Downsides of Having an Affair
While there are several positive elements of having a love affair with a married man, the downsides are many and potentially devastating.
Getting Caught
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The married man is putting his marriage at risk having an affair with you, and you risk the same if you are also married. You may not care about being caught, but your feelings may change if your spouse finds out and files for divorce. Sometimes we don’t realize what we have until we lose it.
Being caught involves more risks than just divorce. It can also ruin your career or your reputation. Even if you are single, you’ll still be labeled as “ the other woman” which can carry as much if not more negative stigmatism as the adulterous husband. You could lose friends and family support and your reputation in the city could be ruined as well.
He May Not Leave His Wife
Sometimes the hope of having a love affair is that he will leave his wife and marry you. This does happen in some cases. However, the majority of the time, the married man only wants to have an affair. Even if he says he loves you and plans to leave his wife, nothing is certain as long as he is still married.
Fantasy is Not Reality
Affairs often have a fantasy feel about them. The problem comes when you expect the fantasy to continue. Even if he does leave his wife and marries you, eventually the day-to-day realities of being married will replace the fantasy. In other words, getting what you want may turn out bad if what you really loved was the fantasy. In addition, in this scenario, your relationship will have been born out of cheating. Now that you are his wife, what’s to say he won’t start cheating on you?
Not Ultimately Fulfilling
If you are single and having a relationship with a married man, it will not be as fulfilling as dating a single guy. The relationship has to be secret, you can’t have your parents meet him and he will be in the arms and bed of another woman. Is that the kind of relationship you want?
Conclusion
Before you have an affair with a married man, carefully consider the good and bad elements. What may start as exciting might in the end cost you more than you were prepared to lose.
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Comments
Reading the above article and detail about a married man in an affair with a single girl hurts me even more than breaking up with the lady I have loved for three years - nearly. Im married and intimacy is zero. I stay for my children and another very important personal reason - which will fortunately have a conclusion in a few years, but cant be discussed here (family matter). But I am not staying because I love my wife. She has made it clear time and again that she dosent love me anymore on more than one occassion over the last 20-years. She has even encouraged me to go to a massage parlour if I needed relief as she is no longer intimate with me (not my style Im afraid - guys, it aint a nice feeling having permissin to do that - trust me). I have never had a problem in being a friend to female work colleagues, or any lady I happen to meet. I am sociable and am usually the witty one in the group (der). I never took anything futher with anyone until I was caught like a rabbit in the headlights with the most capitvating beautfiul lady I happen to have met at salsa. I fell in hook, line and sinker. I fell head over heels and so did she. She awoke my spirit, my soul...my very being. I wrote her songs (Im musical), poems (eh). My creative side went into overdrive. I just wanted to please her. Hear her voice, smell her scent, touch her hand, hold her close..in my arms. We fell for each other hard. In a short time, we were having an affair. Excitement, intimacy (eventually), spiritually. She was there for me and I was there for her. Everything was beautiful. I should have left my wife to spend my life with this beautiful gentle caring creature - as there is n love at home. My lover is not a natural mistress and Im not a natural liar, but we had both stepped over the line...felt wrotten when we werent together, but felt right when we were. However we were living a lie...stolen moments, going to dances together with the blessing of my wife (God I feel sick about that now). But I didnt leave my wife for her...and I dont know why. We didnt start out to be together, but love took over. But my cowardness has made her re-evaluate the situation - rightly so. To cut a long story (ongoing) to a shorter one, she made an effort to start dating. I was even supportive, but it cut like a knife. We got back together again, but she caught the eye of someone else. She needs to be with this single guy (who is actually a really nice chap - I met him at salsa). The situation though is tearing us apart. We have both been really desperate. Tears (I dont cry...ever, but I have done over her). I cant concentrate on my business anymore. I constantly check my email and texts for any scrap of communication. Now it doesnt arrive (we pre-arranged for comms to stop for a bit - to give each other a break so we could breath). It doesnt help though. She is stronger than me, however we have both been on the floor with breaking up with each other. But we know we cant go on like this. I hear from mutual friends who have no idea we were once together as to how they are now getting on. It tears me apart. I am trying so hard to let go and the only thing that keeps me going is my promise to myself not to let her down...to give her the freedom and reciprical love and support she deserves....what I couldnt give on a regualr basis (snatched moments you see when you have an affair). The hurt is that niether of us have anyone to talk to about it...not in the way a friend would support you when a normal relationship might end. As I type, my loss aches..selfish...I know. I have lost my lover, I have let myself down (even my wife), and I dont know what to do. Every day I wake and think of her (it seems like I think about here every 5 or 10-mins. I stop myself from texting, calling and emailing her. I promised myself I would let her go - to allow my most precious beautiful lover to be free in her life. God bless my bella luna. God bless..and Im so sorry. I miss you..and I always will x (teary now). T
-- Contributed by: married man loses salsa loverI think dating a married is not a bad thin if you know how to play your card right.i have ben dating a married man for about 3years now nd it realy worked good because we love each other.so i say go for but be careful though.
-- Contributed by: LorraineSometimes you cant help when a friendships turns to more. However unlike a well scripted movie its a bad mistake and a dilemma I wish upon nobody.
-- Contributed by: stan the lobster
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