Living Single

Living single? This is a time of wonderful freedom, but it can be lonely, too. Here are some ideas on coping and hoping as you navigate the single life.

When you're living single, you don't have to answer to anyone. You can stay up as late as you want, eat whatever you want, go out whenever you feel like it. Then again, you have no one to climb into bed with, no one to cook you dinner, and if you want to spend an evening out, you have to get on the phone and find someone to go with you.

The secret to living single happily is to embrace the experience. Don't give up looking for a partner, but try to enjoy the process. Take good care of yourself. Spend time with friends. Celebrate your privacy and independence.

For many singles, "Why aren't you married yet?" is a dreaded question. It's asked by grandparents and parents, aunts and uncles, co-workers and well-meaning friends. It can bring up deep insecurities. You start thinking, "Why aren't I married yet? Is there something wrong with me?"

To dispel those fears, try some creative answers.

• "I'm holding out for the right person." Said with a smile, answers the question without inviting further comment.
• "Why, did you want to introduce me to someone?" This will probably get you an embarrassed grin and a protestation. Hey, you never know, they just might have someone for you.
• "Oh no! I forgot!" Do this right and you'll get a laugh and a change of subject. Try to sound more innocent than sarcastic.

Disastrous first dates make great stories. Share your terrible tales with your guy or girl friends over drinks or dinner and watch them gasp in horror or recognition. Do be careful. You don't always want to be the downer in the group.

• Don't be bitter. Even your closest friends will eventually tire of listening to you complain.
• Find a way to laugh. Try picturing another guy paying for dinner while his date runs off with the waiter. It would be funny if it didn't happen to you!

Married friends can be incredibly useful. You don't have to worry about them moving in on your man or stealing your girl. They can give you insight on your relationships without being jealous if you're happy. Plus, you've got easy access to the opinions of a member of the opposite sex.

If you're single and sad about it, look to your happily married friends for hope. What do you admire about their relationship? Make mental notes and look for those same qualities in your next romance.

Takeout food is easy and frozen dinners are ready in a snap, but there's no substitute for home-cooked food. Made from scratch meals are healthier, because you control what's in it. You can add whatever flavors or spices you want and, once you've practiced a little, following a recipe can be a soothing way to spend some time.

Still, there's something a little distressing about making a whole lasagna and then having no one to share it with. If you're living single, try these ways to make home cooking more practical and more fun.

• Cook ahead. Go ahead and make six servings of poached salmon or an entire pan of shepherd's pie. Eat what you want and then freeze the rest in individual portions. If you do this once a week, you'll soon have a freezer full of home-made ready-to-eat entrees.
• Cook for many. You don't have to organize a formal dinner party. Just call up some friends and invite them over to eat whatever you're making. Sharing food is a great way to bond.
• Cook for one. It's easy to make individual omelets, French bread pizzas, grilled cheese sandwiches, and other simple foods. Celebrate the fact that you don't have to cook for anyone else!

If you're in an unhappy relationship and worried about living single, remember that being on your own can be a great experience. Although it can be lonely sometimes, it can also be liberating. Plus, living single means you're completely available when the right person comes along.

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