Lesbian Lovers
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History has had many examples of lesbian lovers in reality and fiction. Something about the beauty of two women expressing romance and lust for each other has always captured the attention of the public, whether in a positive or negative way.
Lesbian Lovers in Western Culture
Some historians believe that lesbian love poetry fragments written by Sappho, a Greek woman from the isle of Lesbos, are some of the oldest surviving examples of written literature. The fact is that "lesbian" and "gay" as a sexual identity has only been around for about a century; in previous ages, people simply were sexual. However, that doesn't mean they were tolerated (even Sappho's poetry only partially survives) and so wearing the label of "lesbian lovers" gives women a way to establish and validate their relationships.
In the past few decades many scholars, historians, and social scientists have written many books on the cultural identities of lesbian lovers, the persecutions they have suffered, and many famous lesbian lovers such as Martina Navratilova the tennis champion and her lover Judy Nelson. This body of work, whether in textbooks or simply on the web is very helpful for young women who are looking for role models to identify with in a predominantly heterosexual world.
Lesbian Identity
While Ellen Degeneres is probably the most well-known lesbian on popular TV due to her highly-publicized "coming out" episode and kiss, there have been many other examples of lesbian lovers on popular TV. One of the more memorable characters was the cute-but-powerful witch Willow on the series Buffy the Vampire Slayer. While she began the series with a boyfriend, as the character matured she developed a relationship with another woman in college.
This phenomenon of young women "experimenting" with their sexuality in college is a very common one, and many lesbians look on it with some disdain, calling them "LUGs" – Lesbians Until Graduation. This label is a reaction to exploiting the idea of lesbianism. As it's become more and more accepted, it still retains some of the air of "forbidden" love, and some women have capitalized on that to draw attention. This is most exemplified by Kate Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" which talks about the experience as an "experiment" that "good girls don't do." Most lesbians and their allies find the song offensively misogynistic and homophobic.
Other movies have attempted to show deeper levels of lesbian love, such as Aimee and Jaguar and Frida. Others have shown the dangers still faced by same-sex lovers, such as Boys Don't Cry and But I'm a Cheerleader. Other films such as Bound simply portray lesbian lovers in roles in which their relationship is not the focus of the film, but merely a part of the setting. The L Word is a tremendously successful cable series about lesbians in modern culture in a highly emotional way.
Relationship Differences
Are lesbian lovers actually different than any other pair of human lovers? Historically, that's a question for the textbooks, but according to Fivestar, a lesbian video artist, there is at least one phenomenon common to lesbians that sets them apart. "Processing," she says, "occupies a lot of time between lesbians when they're dating." Processing is simply talking about the relationship – but doing it with the goal of coming to a consensus about any issues, and internalizing the solution – or, to put it another way, talking it to death.
Another popular stereotype among lesbians themselves is the "U-Haul" effect between lovers – the idea that they meet, have a couple of dates, and the next thing that happens is a truck is rented so they can move in with each other. Whether true or not, it is an indication of the passion and intensity that many feel during lesbian seduction.
Whether lesbian, gay, or straight, the heart does what it wants, and contrary to conservative fears accepting romantic relationships between women is not going to make it contagious– as the LGBTQ theatre group "Proud Theater" put it in a recent play on gay marriage, that makes about as much sense as the idea that "hanging around with tall people makes you taller!"
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