Lesbian Breakups

From LoveToKnow Dating

Lesbian breakups can be difficult to handle no matter what the reason or the situation.

lesbian breakups

Finding Support

If you aren't surrounded by friends and loved ones who support your lifestyle choice, lesbian breakups can be even more difficult. In heterosexual relationships and later breakups, those familiar with the couple may shake their heads in sympathy and offer a shoulder to cry on. If, however, you and your partner often felt as if you were on an isolated island together, in which family and maybe even friends never really approved of your relationship in the first place, you may find that their sympathy doesn't quite ring true. To top it off, because lesbians often build a circle of other gay people as their support system, you may find that those closest to you and your partner don't want to look as if they are choosing sides, so they simply back away from you both.

The sad fact is that finding those who really do feel your pain and worry about your heartbreak may be more difficult for those in lesbian relationships. After all, most people are accustomed to pointing fingers at the man or the woman in a heterosexual relationship. When a lesbian relationship falls apart, people who weren't comfortable with the relationship in the first place may act almost embarrassed when the subject is approached, or they may simply try to ignore that the breakup has occurred.

Handling Lesbian Breakups

It can be difficult to handle the loneliness and depression that often follow any breakup, whether good or bad. Don't go through this alone.

  • Contact friends-Turn to those who truly care that you are hurting.
  • Talk to other lesbians-Share your feelings and heartbreak with other lesbians who understand what you are going through.
  • Get out of the house- Although you may want to curl up and hibernate, and this is okay for a while, eventually you'll need to crawl out of that cave. Even if you don't want to, call a friend and go see a movie, head to the mall, enroll in a class, find a new hobby, or pick up an old one again.
  • Seek professional help-Sometimes talking to friends and family simply isn't enough. In this case, you may need to seek the advice of a professional counselor. He or she can help you work through your grief, anger, disbelief, frustration, and all the other emotions that run rampant through your mind from one hour to the next.
  • Letting go-It's natural to think that there may be hope for the future, and that you and your significant other could get back together. Of course, this may actually be the case, and if it works out for you both…great! However, if you and your lover can't reconcile, you'll have to learn to let go. Hanging on to anger can only help you for a little while, and although there may be bad blood between the two of you at the time of the breakup, you've got to find a way to move beyond this powerful emotion and find peace…and acceptance. Should you remain friends? Maybe. Should you go your separate ways? Possibly. The real answer to both of these questions is to do what is best for you. At this point, you can't really worry about anyone else.

Online Support Groups

If you don't have many friends that you can turn to, you still don't have to go through this alone. There are numerous support groups online that will help you get through this emotional and trying time in your life. Use caution, however, in handing out personal information and making intimate online contacts. This is a period in your life where you need friendship, nothing more. You'll may be vulnerable to the attention and sympathy you receive from others, but you don't want to start up something new until the wounds you've gotten from the old have healed. The following sites might be worth checking out, however.

Finally, time really does heal, so give yourself some time to feel lonely, sad, and every other feeling you'll probably encounter. Time will lessen the pain, and you'll begin to feel stronger every day.

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