Jealous Heart

Young Jealous Heart

Reader Question

Hi there! I'm a fifteen year old girl in search of some help. I'm going insane over this, no lie. Okay, so I know people say fifteen is too young to be in love, but I am. I've fallen-and fallen hard. I'm madly in love with my ex-boyfriend (FYI, we never went far… the most was making out). Now, I'm guessing you want to know why we broke up. Well...you're probably going to think "Why does she want to get back together with this kid?"..but anyways, he cheated on me. And I just couldn't forgive him at the time. Anyways that was back in January. Well from then until April he begged to have me back. Like seriously. And I was a witch......I hate myself for allowing myself to shun him. So then in May he found himself another girl. An awful girl, she nearly flunked school and she does drugs. I cannot stand her. They went out for about six months, and then about three weeks ago they broke up. After that, he really started to flirt with me (and he knows how I feel for him). I really thought that this was going to be it, that we'd get back together and everything would be great. But whenever his old girlfriend was around he'd ignore me and talk to her… like I didn't exist. But a friend of mine told me not to worry, that he was just weighing out his options. The last two days he hasn't talked to me...at all. And it's tearing me up. So I have two questions. Does he hate/not like me? How do I get him back?

~~Thanks much, Victoria

Expert Reply

Dear Victoria,

I believe that love occurs at all ages. So, yes I believe that you were in love with your boyfriend. However, I don’t think that is what is going on right now. I think that after your boyfriend hurt you, your feelings for him changed. Then, as time passed your heart hurt less. In your question you don’t say if you went out with another guy after your boyfriend cheated, so I am going to assume that you have not moved on. I say this because if you had gone out with someone else and he treated you with respect, you probably wouldn’t be as interested in your old boyfriend.

Here’s what I think is going on with the guy you like. He still likes his old girlfriend and he knows how to make her jealous. Jealousy is a very powerful feeling. You feel it every time your ex is with the other girl. So, given how you feel about him, you become the perfect person to make his girlfriend jealous. It also seems to be working, because right now he’s not talking to you.

If you want to get him back, you’re going to have to change things around a bit. First, stop being so available to your ex and start letting him chase you. Nothing is more attractive to a boy than a girl he can’t have. Second, make him jealous. Find an attractive guy to be with. Remember, jealousy is a powerful emotion. Finally, don’t tell any of your friends your plan. Because as soon as you do, they will tell him and he won’t take you serious.

~~Lori