Intimate Questions to Ask Your Partner

Crystal Schwanke
Couple in conversation

When people hear the word intimate, they often think that it only relates to bedroom conversation, but intimate questions can cover a much wider spectrum. They can concern anything from your childhood dreams to how your partner pictures your future together.

List of Intimate Questions to Ask Your Partner

To help you get started, try some of the questions listed here. Personalize them so they relate more to your partner and your relationship.

General Attraction Questions

  1. What is the first thing you noticed about me?
  2. What role does physical attraction play in whether or not you pursue a relationship?
  3. What type of scent do you like on a woman?
  4. Would you say you have a "type"? Do I fit what you thought you were looking for?
  5. How do you describe me to other people?
  6. How do you think I should describe you to other people?
  7. What could I do for you that I don't do now?
  8. What is the first thing you think when you see me?
  9. What qualities make me special to you?
  10. Do you look at other men (women)?
  11. If you could have three wishes from me, what would they be?
  12. What goals do you have for us?
  13. What was the first thing you thought when you met me?

Questions About the Past

  1. Have you ever cheated on a partner? If not, have you considered it but changed your mind?
  2. How many past partners have you had?
  3. Did you debate whether or not to ask me out? Why would you have chosen not to?
  4. What were you thinking on our first date?
  5. Have you ever been in love before me?
  6. Who is your role model in life? Who is your role model in love?

Questions About the Future

  1. Where do you see this relationship headed in the next year? What about the next five years?
  2. What is your opinion on marriage and children?
  3. Would you stay with me if you found out I was unable to bear children?
  4. What are your occupational goals and how could they affect our relationship?
  5. Where do you see yourself living when you retire?
  6. I want to be a good lover, and I want to be there for you. What can I do for you to be that woman or man?

Questions About Love

  1. What can I do to show you how much I love you?
  2. Do you believe in soul mates? What about love at first sight?
  3. Have you ever been hurt in the past and questioned the possibility of love?
  4. When did you realize you were in love with me?
  5. Do you see our love lasting? Do you ever have any doubts?

Questions About Intimacy

  1. Is our relationship physical enough for you? What would make it better in your eyes?
  2. How and where do you like to be touched?
  3. Do you have any fantasies you would like fulfilled?

Only Ask What You Truly Want to Know

Note that when you pose an intimate question for your partner, you need to be open to listening. You may get an answer that you are surprised at or that you don't want to hear. Even so, it's important not to judge your partner or get angry. Instead, if you find yourself upset, take a moment to digest what your partner has told you before responding. Remember, there are no perfect people in the world, and the two of you are not going to agree on everything. However, you need to stay focused on what you want in the relationship and determine if you are both on the same page. Open communication is often the key to lasting love. Keep in mind, your partner may want to ask you intimate questions in return, so be ready to answer them. Relationships are give and take, after all.

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Intimate Questions to Ask Your Partner