Indian Dating

Indian dating can be quite different from the usual Boy meets Girl story. In a culture where arranged marriages are the norm, rather than the exception, can true love blossom?

India's history dates back over 5000 years, and is rich in culture and tradition. One of the strongest traditions relates to marriage and how couples are brought together. Though some matches are made based on mutual attraction, far more couples are the product of arranged marriages, and casual dating without the firm goal of marriage in mind is simply unheard of.

Traditionally, Indian dating is almost non-existent compared to the way dating is handled in the Western culture. In India, it is a generally accepted fact that your family will choose your future mate for you. Sometimes these matches are made from childhood, sometimes the match is made once both partners reach adulthood and have completed their educations.

While the idea of letting your parents choose your husband or wife for you may seem quite controlling to Westerners, this is not the way it's viewed in India. In India, it is considered the parents' duty to help their offspring make the wisest choices possible in regard to their lifetime partners, and this duty is carried out with great love. Parents believe the decision is too big for their children to make alone, with their limited life experiences, and so they draw on their own considerable life experience and wisdom to help ensure their children are suitably matched for the greatest chance of marital success. Today, many young people are actively involved in the choice along with their parents; finding a spouse is a family project. Divorce is highly frowned upon in the Indian culture, so the choice of the right partner is crucial.

Parents begin their search based on some of the following criteria:

• Common Religion. This is crucial for a marriage bargain to be struck. Imagine trying to meld a Christian spouse and a Hindu spouse in the same household. What would be the ramifications for children born of the union? It simply wouldn't be conducive to marital harmony, so it isn't even considered.
• Similar Levels of Education. The Indian people highly prize education, and to make a match that includes a disparity in education is akin to yoking an unevenly matched team of horses to pull a cart. It's inefficient, and doesn't work well in the long run. Couples holding a similar level of education are considered better intellectually matched, and should therefore have a greater chance at compatibility.
• Matching Caste or Cultures. India's social structure is very rigid, and it is largely unheard of to marry outside of your class.

Parents typically look to their married friends' children for potential spouses, since they usually already know something about them. This way, they know what the family is like, how the women are treated, if the men have good earning potential and if the family has a good reputation. In short, they look for all the essentials to promote lasting marital happiness. Match Makers may also be consulted if a suitable marriage partner cannot readily be found. The search is a bit like a job interview, and the candidate with the best qualifications gets hired for the position. However, it should be noted that if one of the potential spouses has a true objection to the match, it is seldom forced on them. This would defeat the purpose of the entire search, to make a marriage that will prosper and not end in divorce.

Not all couples have the opportunity to meet before their wedding day, trusting in their parents' ability to make the best choice for them. This is something that would be considered unthinkable in modern Western culture. Yet, the tradition of arranged marriages still thrives after some 5000 years in India, so there must be a great deal of success involved. Other couples get to know one another prior to marriage, but they meet in well-orchestrated situations with few of the casual dating scenarios many Western young people face.

While many Indian families living in the West still carry on with the tradition of arranged marriages, others find themselves adopting a page from western culture, and young adults may be allowed to do some actual dating based on their own preferences. However, it's hard to discard 5000 years of tradition, and many Indians make a conscious choice to seek other Indians to date, and perhaps one day marry. There's some benefit to this, as culture clash is more easily avoided.

Interestingly, the Internet is filled with Indian dating websites designed to specifically help Indians meet other like minded Indians with companionship in mind. When you think about it, this practice is not so different from meeting with a traditional Indian match maker to search for potential life partners. Both partners go through a screening process, not unlike that used for arranged marriages. However, online Indian dating sites yield a wider array of potential companions, and whether or not marriage is a goal is completely up to the participants.

However Indians choose to meet, date and marry, one thing is clear. Five thousand years of tradition is deeply ingrained into the culture, and the choice of a marriage partner is still considered one of the most important life decisions ever made.

• IndianDating.com
• IndianFriendfinder.com

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